12DoDM19 — D9: Rapid Fire Christmas Specials!

So. Yeah dude. I guess… I shoulda held off on the Bojack Horseman Christmas Special for this rambling or soething? I dunno? Either way. I glad  Ididn’t cause… bonuses were fun back in 2015. And there’s about to be a couple more of them. I promse. But. Uh… yeah dude/ Insead of one movie… I’m about to watch a couple Christmas episodes from some of my favorite shows. Sound good?

I hope it does. Because. Dud. This should be the funnest of all times. I swear. Or. At least some of the funnest of all times. I dunno. It could be pretty tough to top Kiss Kiss Bang Bang to be honest. But whatever. This rambling should give that one a run for it’s money. Either way.

LFG!

Yeah man. Easily. This is the best… or at least neck and neck as the best South Park Christmas episode. The only other contenders are A Very Crappy Christmas from season four and Woodland Critter Christmas from season eight have an argument. And I’ll just mention Red Sleigh Down from season five… just cause.

But yeaah dude. It’s time to watch, without a doubt, the best CHristmas musical special thing. Ever. And. Legit. This is something I MUST watch at least one during the Christmas season. So.

1. FIGHTING THE GRIZZIES AT 11!
2. Instead of a typical South Park intro, we get “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo,” full song and animation. Gross. Awesome. And stuffs. Obviously.
3. And we’re introduced to the “Christmas set” as seen above. Hankey introduces all of the songs and stuffs. It’s so good.
4. “Driedel, Dreidel, Dreidal~!” Obviously. The best version of the song. E ver. Various cas members and kids come in to sing different things. It’s soo goo. Kyle does the traditional version of the song. Cartman comes and sings, “Jews, play stupid games,” Stan joins and sings, “I’ll try to make it spin, it fell, I’ll try it again.” God only knows what Kyle’s mom is singing. Kyle’s dad sings, “Courtney dox, you’re so hot I love you, Courney Coz, you’re so hot, on that show”
5. And now. we go to hell. I referenced this D1 with Tge Crinch… for… some reason. But yeah. Adold Hitler sining, “O Tannenbaum” is so funny.

   

6. But o course… the song reallu is… “Christmas Time in Hell,” which… of course is great in it of itself.
7. lol Hitler’s family and life growing up is all South Parky and in black and white. LMAO. Awesome.
8. Jeffrey Dahmer. JFK and JFK Jr. Mao. Ghengis Khan. Michael Landon. Princess Diana and her lover person. Jimmy Stuart. They’re all in hell. with Afold. And. I mean. This episode/album (it was and is a legit Christmas Album) was released the year JFK junior died and shit. And they didn’t get any flack.
   RANDOM SIDENOTE: In the worl of South Park, you hae to be Mornon to get to heaven. So… uh… just saying.
   EVEN MORE RANDOMISH SIDENOTE: I believe it was season 10 where they got flack. Because Steve Irwin showed up to Satan’s “sweet 16 Halloween party,” didn’t wear a costume, but showed up with a stingray sgtuck to his chest. So dumb.
   LAST RANDOMISH THING: I just confirmed it. It was in Season 1.0 That’s right. On top of beinga Batman expert. I’m a South Park expert too. Test me, bitch.
9. “Siler Bells” by Mr. Mackey. Is so good dude. GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO WATCH THIS!

10. Ding Dong Mm’kay

11. Or maybe the song is called, “toll of the Bells?” “Sweet Silver Bells?” I dunno. It’s the song that everyone knows by that Orchestra people… thing… that’s epic. But this version by Mr. Mackey is FAR superior. OK… that might be a lie. But.
12. Let’s not forget that for some peope the Christmas is about the birth of Jesus! So here’s sa song by Eric Cartman!
13. “O Holy Night” by Eric Cartman. Is… easily… the best version of the song.

14. Thank you, Jessus for being born!

15. Eric takes Jesus gifts from the wisemen. lol So good.
16. Now dude. Oof. I’ve GOT to share this. Because. I’ve said. Time and time again. This is THE BEST Christmas song ever. I don’t care. I guess it makes me a homophobic racisty racist that ever raced xenophobe and such. Because I love this shong that’s sang by South Park‘s would be answer to Trump and stuffs. But. Ugh.
    
17. Sue me, Viacom.
18. FRIZZIES AT 11!
19. After Shelley sings “Ships onf Christmas Day” r whatever… Santa and JEsus do a duet.
20. They’re going back and forth with CHristmas songs.. replacing their namess with “me” it’s great.
21. And they end with “Let it Snow.” Awesome dude.
22. FIGHTING FRIZZIES AT 11!
23. And. Of course. The episode ends with Mr. Hankey and the boys singing, “Have Yourself a Merry Litte  Christmas.” The way every Christmas special needs to end. With this song.
24. And all of a sudden…. we cut to all ofthe female characters in flashbacks and stuffs.
25. Because the voice actress, Mary Katherine Bergman, who did all of the female voices from S1-3 decided to kill herself in November of ’99. The year this episode was released. And I mean. At least they, Mat and Trey gave her this beatiful send off. Right?
26. Knny dies. Hitley and JFK hug each other. BEcause it’s CHristmas.
27. Then. Frizzies are fought in a boxing ring. Take that, Star Wars!

Oerall? The special gets 5 out of 5 frizzies!

I dunno about you. But I think it’s time to class things up a bit after all of that. Right? So… LEt’s go here…

I dunno , merhaps it’s not the best Christmas episode(s from The Office, but this was/these were the first that I thought of. It’s Michael (Steve Carell)’s final season. And. Yeah dude.

LFG!

1. I’m just curious… do officies like Dunder Mifflin is a parody of actually do Christmas cars? Cause like… WTF’s the point? Right?
2. Dwight. Kevin. Michael. Erin. My ffavorite characters from The Office. In Order. Boom. I can’t stand Jom and Pam. At all.  Sell… Outside of their wedding and proposal anyways. Jim… I hate him. So much.

   

3. Well… no. Andy has no redeemable qualities. At all. Ed Helms TRYIING to be funny is FAR worse than Jim’s annoyingly looking at the camera trying to be cute al the time.
4. Kelley is also pretty awesome.
5. Damn dude. Rainn Wilson directed this first part of the episode. Good shit.
6. lol… this is the Dwight and Jim snow fight episode. I knew thiswas a good one.

7. THERE’S A PEBBLE IN THERE! YOU COULD’VE KILLED ME!

8. Dusty shows up. You know. Toby.
9. Or. You know. The Scranton Strangler (I was, legit, about to write, “The Boston Stranger” there… thanks, Trais and fWo and stjffs)
10. Holly’s coming back. Boom.
11. Yups. Holly’s coming back. Time to class up the joint.
12. I dunno. Uh. Kinda not paying attention. I guess I’ve gotten too acustomed to The Office being background noise.
13. lol Michael’s look when Toby shows up. Good times.
14. Ugh dude. I ant an ugly Christmas sweaer… like Tobey has… SO BAD!
15. Dwight destorys Jim in the snowball fight. Thank God. Fuck that guy.

    

16. Kevin’s pissed that Holly ate some. Akin to Forrest Gump.
17. Forreals dude. I can’t stand Ed Helms in The Office. Like… at all. He’s got a couple funny points an stuffs… But… ugh. He tries WAY too hard to be funny. And it shows. I hate it.
18. Ugh dude. Erin is so adorable.
19. Dwight’s still killing Jim. Thankfully.
20. Ryahn’s up in his closet office.
21. Funnies happen when Jim breaks the window. Obviously.
22. Michael kills woody.
23. TBC! RN! IRL! AF!
24. Damn. Mindy Kailing wrote this one. Rainn Wilson still directed it. Awesoem.
25. LOL… KEvin think’s Woddy’s alive. Erin think’s he’s right. Awesome.
26. Jim’s a fouche.
27. Ugh. I’m tearing up cause Holly sucks.
28. THen Kevin’s pissed off about the candies. Cause. Of course he is.
29. Erin still doesn’t get the Holly thing.
30. Man. I wish Jury Duty was as awesome as it was for Toby during the Scranton Strangley cse. For me… it was just a miserable case of “Jesus dude, this situation is so fucked.” And  ripping at my internal morality. And then. I found out I was just an alternate. Oof.
31. Ed Helms trying to fail at Christmas. Comedically is so umb. Forreals due. I hate him.

    

32. Robert is still gay.
33. Erin’s love for Michael is so awesome. I love it.

34. 

35. Darrell gives his daughter all the moneys to give vendying maching food as gifts. Cool. Darrel FTW!
36. I still love thar Ryan’s in a closet.
37. Who the fuck ACTUALY drinks mohitos? Forreals.
38. Ugh. I bet Kay Jewelers sponsored the shit out of this episode. FUk you Jim and Pam.
39. But. Ffrreals. You don’t need to spend a $1000 on jewelry to to make a guy happy. Most anyone could be speechless, like Jim there about having a comic book made about them. Come on.
40. And uh… lots of other stuffs happened. But. Thank the Lord. O Holy Night and stoffs. Jim is terrified about being attacked by Dwight. Fuck that guy. Right?

Overall? The special gets 2 1/2 Dundies out of 5.

And. Dude. We’ll end. With. What’s probably the best Christmas episode of a show that I know of. This ALL TIME classic. Forreals. And here. Let me just say this quickly, I wanted to do this rambling, in particular, because dude… Christmas specials were something I ooked forward to all the time. Even if they were just the reruns, year to year on Nickelodeon of Dough adn Rugrats and stuffs. And. FFS. I just thought about it. I’ma watch Duog‘s after this. If I can. We shall see. But. I mean. For now… Always Sunny?

LFG!

1. 9:00. On Christmas Eve. Philadelphia, PA.
2. Charlie only has ONE left, Mac.
3. Charlie and Mac are TWO different peope. They can’t have the same left!
4. Frank would always buy the best Christmas presents for Dennis and Dee ND give them to himself! Of course he would.
5. That’s right, Dennis. Your dream gifrt.

   

6.  Jesus Christ dude, I didn’t tear up for that bit in The Polar Express, but… legit… this intro ti Ir’s Always Sunny in Philadekpia is making me tear u. It’s close to a shot for shot rremake of the normal Sunny intro. But with Christymasy shit happening. Oof.
7. Dee and Fennis are gonna destroy Frank. Cause fuck that guy.
8. lol… Frank’s old business partner is still alive and now he wants to save Frank. For the Lord and stuffs. Good times. But. He needs to be Dennis and Dee’s ghost.
9. Simon from the 80’s or whatever. Charlie can’t get passed the second level. Obviously.
10. Charlie and Max are all on about Christmas traditions.
11. And of coure. Mac’s family tradition was breaking into people’s houses and stealng Christmas gifts lol
12. The CHristmas tradition… where you go from house to house and take a present. THat’s why when he’d get bak there’d be no presents. BEcause the neighbors took his. LMAO. so good. God. Always Sunny so so awesome.
13. Dennis and dee’s ghost plan blows up immediately. lol
14. And immediatel7, The dude tries to prostaletize.
15. LAMO… Frank thinks that fakinging the kids out was the best thing.
16. Now we’re at Charlie’s mom’s place. Where we ginf out about the SDanta’s coming over.
17. A Santa would come, give him a present, and cheer up his mom for a while.
18. Charlie’s mom was a prostitute for Christmas gifts. Obviousluy.
19. And. Uh. Frank gets sewn into a couch.

    

20. HOLY SHIT DUDE! PORNSTACHE FROM ORANGE IN THE nEW BLACK IS IN THIS EPISODE AS RICKY FALCONE! Damn.
21. It falls under the “finders keepers” laws of America. Stop it, Ricky Falcone!
22. Oof. The creator of Drunk History is in this episode too. Mat Walers or some shit like that.
23. Who’s Mike Schmidt? Forreals.
24. Charlie sees the mall Santa. And it’s gameover dude. Fuck off, Christms Story, right?
    RANDOM SIDENOTE: “The ‘R-Word.‘” Dude. Like. Fine. Calling a handicap person retarded is beyond retarded. Right? But like. To ban the word. Is the most rediculous thing ever. FFS. Janoris Jenkins was cut from the Giants just this week becaue he called some critic “retarded.” This shit is so dumb. Charlie is about to say “fuck” a bunch of times. Right? And. Uh. Well.. here… THe last time I watched this episode was about a year or so agao. It’s on this channel called, “Viceland.” And uh… well… Santa asking Mac if Charlie’s retarded… “Retarded” was censored. But Charlie asked Santa a bunch of times, uncensored on the basic cable show, “Did you fuck mhy fcuking mom, santa?” How retarded is that? Oof dude. I hate this world.

    

25.  Stuffs.
    RANDOM SIDENOTE: The Youtube purge is forreals. Oof. I hate this world even more.
26. And. uh.
27. We get the money shot. Right?

    

28. LMAO. “When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash!” Frank Reynolds. 2k12ish.
29. Eugene. Frank’s business partner ruined Christas. Cause he was no help. With his Jesus shit.
30. WTF? Frank’s dead!
31. Nopes. He’s alive and well. Fake out. Duh?!
32. And. Hel yeah, dude. Always Sunnny oes the trippy claymation bit of awesomeness.
33. ugh dude. This shit’s so good.
34. The Gay elf from Rudolph and the snowman thing from it too is here. Awesome.

35. They’ll rip your arm off at the bone. Eat it like an ice cream cone! Gouge your eyes out with a spoon, blow them up like two baloons! Keep them close so you can see, as they chainsaw off your knee! Bash your body with a board and hang you by your spinal chord! And then they’ll rip yu down so you’ll survive, grind your legs while you’re alive! Throw you to a gator pit, let them knaw on you a bit! Pull you out and stab hyour face, spray your wounds off full of maxe! Now they’re getting really brasen, when you’re burned by racist singing raisins!

36. Yeah dude. Best claymationed ever. The end.
37. The best part of Frnk’s sotyr was the four in the gang sticking together and slaughtering Frank. Obviously.
38. All they need is each other, not their parents, to have a great Christmas. DUh.
39. And Frank can go fuck himself in his fat fucking ass. Of course.
40. lol… they all go to Ricky Falcone’s huose to sing Christmas carols.
41. Damn dude. Pornstache was ripped as fuck dude.
42. The gang goes back to the bar, Frank’s there with his od business partner. And they made Paddy’s all Christmasy. And awesome. I’m tearing up. Cause I suck.
43. Welps. I FINALLY found out that Frank Reynolds is the person that gives cars as Christmas gifts. Good job.
44. But. Eugene, the Christian, robs thm f all of their Christmas presents. You old bastard! CALL BACK!
45. What happened to all the God stuff? lol
46. They all get sprayeed with snow in their faces and shit. lol
47. This shit’s bringing a tear to my eye. For no fucking reason.
48. Must be “I’m dreaming of a white Christmaas” playing in the background or something.
49. And. In the end. Mac and Chrlie stik together with the rest of the gang and do their Christmas tradition of throwing rocks at trains. Just like when they were kids.
50. Like Todd said. That one time. “THINGs don’t become traditions because they’re good. They become good because they’re tradiitions!

Overall? The episode get 4 3/4 stolen presents out of 5.

And. Uh… yeah… Nah dude. I’m not adding Doug to the end of this. This shit’s WAY longer than I thought it’d be. So. kybye.