2018: Wrestling with Wrestling

Dude. How appropriate is all of this, right?

I started off the year with. You know. Finding my love for wrestling again. Somehow.

And then.

Like.

I’ve reverted  back t just being indifferent about it all. Mostly. I mean. There’s DEFINItELY still a love there. But like. It’s back to being a love/hate type of thing. I love it. It lhates me. Kinda. Sorta. Hrll. I’m not even sure what that means anyore. Because. Like. Nothing about wrestling makes sense anymore. Like. At all. And. I mean. That’s kinda expected at this point. Right? I mean. Since.

You know.

Leukemia acchived something Vince McMahon has failed to do since 2014 or so.

You know.


Make Roman Reigns a full-fledged babyface.

Rightg?

And. I mean. That. That singluar moment Kinda. Sorta. Encapsulates the craziness that is wrestling. This on-again-off-again, love thing that I have for this brand of entertainment. Thing. This sinle. HIGHLY edited (though, it didnt need the editing AT ALL), five minute clip thing. It also. Kinda. Sorta. Encapsulates everything that’s wrong about WWE these days.

These days. Since. Shit. I don’tk now. 2003-2005? Somewheres in there. It’s been this HIGHLY manufactureed, piece of nothingness. Rightg? EVERYTHING has become so scripted that NO ONE is allowed to create. You know? NO ONE is allowed to go off-script and create memorable things anymore.

FFS. If you wanna change up your ring gear. You NEED to get it approved by management first. Right?

I mean.

Come on dudes.

Did you all learn NOTHING from your most successful time period? You know. The most monitarily successful period? You know. When You dropped the “Rocky Maivioa” crap and let Dwayne Johnson become, The Rock? When you dropped “The Ringmaster” shit. And allowed “‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin” to flurish? Right? When you dropped the Hunter Hearst Helmsley thing. And allowed Paul Leveque to become… Triple H.

You know?

In that moment. When Roman Reigns was REAL. He was beloved. Yes. Disease. Things. But also. He’s, really, not following a SCRIPT. Right? I mean. Merhaps those words were written for him. But like. No dude. Right? There’s no way. Joe Anoa’i is being Joe Anoa’i in these moments. Right?

More recently? Daniel Bryan’s heel turn. The dude. Brian Danielson is being the LEGIT, concerned leftist that actually gives a shit about climate change. Even though. You know. NO BODY actually cares about it. THe “‘Yes!’ Movement” was an extension of the LITERAL underdog of Brian Danialson. NOW? This heel, NEW Daniel Bryan is like. You know. Bryan Danielson is being Brian Danielson. You know. He’s being himself. Bugt expressing it to the 1,000th power. You know?

Just like Cactus Jack did in “creating his art,” as Daffney put it.

Just like… everyone I’ve already mentionned did.

Just like.

You know. THE talk of wrestling these days.

Has done.

You know.

Becky Lynch

Thing is? For me? Becky Lynch’s thing. Is just. I don’t know. It’s not a Batman Facepalm. It’s not. It’s good. It’a jutst. NOT the most amazing thingest thing ever? Right?

Acording to WhatCulture. And I mean. I’ve heard this NO WHERE else. BUT. According toe WhatCulture. WWE’s audience skews liberal. And I mean. Dude. Do you know what the south is? MERHAPS the WrestgleMania audience skeqs liberal because. You know. You European cunts come over here. But. Come on man.

WOO-SA. I’m tryna make this as Dace Friendly as possible.

THE ONLDY REASON THE LIKEs OF CULTAHOLIC, WHATCULTURE AND THE LIKE ARE CALLING BECKY LYNCH THE WRESTLER OF THE YEARS IS BECAUSE THEY’RE IN ULTRA-PROGRESSIVE EUROPE AND UK AND SHIT.

Was Becky Lynch, bloodied face, standing in the crowd a bad ass moment?

Yes. Of course it was.

Was Becky vs. Charolette a good/great match?  Yes. Should it have main evented the Evolution pay-per-viw? Of course it should have.

Is Becky Lynch the greatest thing to ever hit wrestling since Austin 3:16, because you know, she stood out, being agressive in a land of CONSTANT 50/50 booking? I mean. No. Right?

Rebecca Knoxz has DEFINITELY busterd her ass to get the recognition she has now. Hell. I’m ALL FINE with this, apparent, “controversial,” “The Man,” gimmick. It’s all good. It’s all awesome. It truly is. But. Come off it. Ya’ll have seen better matches in NXT this year than Becky vs. Charolette. Right?

Hell. Take Gargbi iyt f the equation, even.

Personally? One of the best matches I saw this year was Ricochet vs. Adam Cole at Takeover… whatever. Beca8se. DUde. NOTHING will ever make me mark out for a moment in wrestling (unless it’s watching old Sting vs. nWo clips or something) other than seeing…

This here. Fuck slowmo, though.

Jesus Christ. Right?

And to follow that spot off with a brainbuster to the knee? Come off it. NOTHING Becky Lynch has done this years has been THAT awesome.

Which. Again. Becky Lynch HAS been awesome.

Just not Ricochet vs. Adam Cole awesome.

For me? The thing is.

WWE’s just rehashing their shit from 2004ish. Back then. They were ALL about creating the YOUNGEST CHANPIAONS EVER! BHence. Randy Orton beating Benoit. Cleanly. Even though, he’d never won a clean math. Ever. At that point. So.

One of these.

Hell. René Duprée is still THE CURRENT youngest champion ever. Just cause.

Evolution. Was a decent pay–par-view thing. Becky Lynch vs. Charolette was good. But it was the first “all women’s OOV.” Just cause. Just like Randy Orton was the youngest world champion. JUST CAUSE! Just like René Duprée is the youngest ever champion ever. JUST cAUSE!

You know?

Becky Lynch is the best thing going ing wtestling right now. Why? JUST CAUSE!

But here. Let’s go with. BY FRAR the worst thing to happen to WWE since. Like. Katie Vick. Basically. Right?

Baron Corbin. Righgt?

It’s not because. You know. He’s become the scapegoat in character ND atuff. I’ve been saying this. AT LEAST in my hed since he first won that one Andre the Giant Battle Royal. The dude has NOTHING. He’s not good on the mic. He’s barely watchable in the ring. He’s got NO intensity. There’s literally NOTHING redeemable about him. In wrestling. Like. Even his bit on the Nnew Year’s Eve Raw thing. It’s like, dude. Just talk like you give a shit. Right? But he doesn’t. He doesn’t talk like he gives a shit. He doesn’t wrestle like he gives a shit. And I’ve never. EVER given a shit about this worthless television character. Ever.

Uh.

Then.

Let’s circle back to. You know.

Apparently. The reason I fell back in love with wrestling this ear. Apparently.

I mean. I “started” 2018 by saying, “I Think I Love Wrestling.”

And. I mman.

It all had to do with. You know.

Asuka. Obviously. Right?

No. I didn’t follow what she did in NCT. Hell I haven’t even foollwed NXT THISS year whilst having a WWE Network subscription and such. I mean. The entire end of WWE’s 2017 was bult around how awesome Asuka was. As far as women and Raw was concerned. And such. Right? And I mean. Yes. I think I watched her debut match? Or something in NXT. Buy I heard the rumblings about her. And like.

Dude.

I can’t explain it. At all.

EVERYTHING about Asuka. Kana. Whatever. EVERYTHING about her when she made the jump from NXT to the main roster. Had me hooked. Again. I had a VIBE from her with… whatever match of hers I watched in NXT. But the entire end of 2017-into the Women’s Royal Rumble. I couldn’t help but be TOTALLY engulfed in this allure of Asuka. It WASN”T because she was a zGoldberg badass. I mean. She was a bad ass. Yes. But like. I could never explain it. Hell. I’d even say… MERHAPS. She’s not as wrestling talented as Sasha Banks, or something. I mean. She’s talented. Of course. But. Still. She’s not THAT. Great. You know?

There’s. Something. About. Asuka. That. Made. Me. Fall. In. Love. With. Women’s. Wrestglig. NOT JUST WOMEN’S WRESTLING. BUT. Asuka. Made me fall in love with wrestling. Itself. Again. I don’t know why. But. All of the build. Towards Mania. Loved it all. It was all kept secrety type of things. Until whenever. And. You know. Whatever. Asuka showed up on SmackDown and said she was going to challenge Charolette Flair.

And. I mean.

They had a good, if not, great match. But Charolette beat Asuka. At WrestleMania.

And.

One of these.

Sure. Asuka lost. Merhaps it was the right time for her to lose her winning streak. Merhaps it wasn’t. I dunno. Either way. ANYTHING would have been better than seeing Asuka be jobbed to the turtleman. Right?

You know.

Batman. Facepalms.

Allegedly, Elmswothy is a big, creeper, pedofile thing. I’m just saying. I hated the dude the ENTIRe time. Forreals.

Asuka, basically jobbing to him made me hate him even more.

Batman. Facepalms.

Sp. Here. To end this LONG RAMBLING.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: This rambling? Wrestling shit that it was. This was the reason I KNEW I needed to break up 2018 again. Like I did for 2017. Unlike I did for 2016. Whatever. But. My 2018 ramblings whont be as much as last year. Whatever. Just saying.

Let me just say.

Controversies.

“Politically correct” type of shit.

Just made wrestling unbearable. Forreals. Fabulous Moolah couldn’t be recognized. Because. Mars Candy Co. SAID SO! HELLO LIBERALISM! MUCH LIBERAL AUDIENCE! SUCH LOvING OF CORPORATIONS! Enzo Amore, as an unbearable character as I always thought him to be (even when I seent whatever his NXT matches I watched were), got released due to #MeToo dumbness. Basically. Big Cass. Whom. You know. I liked EVEN LESS than Enzo, got released cause he loved Trump too much. And. You know. Loved beating the shit out of dwarves. Even though. He wasn’t supposed to.

Greatest Royal Rumble happened. Even though. You know. I knew, the the uncreative sound if it, it was going to be as pointless as it was.

Then. You know.

Crowned Jewel. And how horrible pieces of horribleness that this exists. Apparently.

One of these.

Saudi Afrabia. Sucks, A LOT. Literally? They prbably had a LOT to do with 9/11. And shit. But THE BIGGEST critics of all of this? Whatculture? Cultaholic? The likes? ALL they complaied about. A the time was “Saudi oil money.”

Which.

You know. Batman Facepalms. Of coure.

Just.

Dumbness.

Any cunt that says, “WWE DEFINITELY should have CANCELLED THE SHOW!” Because. “PROGRESSIvEISM! REASONS!” Basically. They’re being a cunt. The apparent assionastion of Jamal Jhasogi is one thing. But those cunts. Progressive cuntgs. Hate that WWE made the deal in the first place. Again. Saudi’s are cunts. No doubt. But like. This virtue signalling about how horrible WWE is because Saudi Arabia is worse.

Just like anyone, can say, with a straight face, that Hulk Hogan IS A RACIST.

Saying the word, “nigger,” does not aa racist make. FFS.

Just like. Donaldd Trump ISN’T a racist because he’s an inarticulate asshole. Sorry Dave. Sorry God.

I’m done.

Wrestling. WWE. In 2018. Made me cry (because everything does the past couple of years) with the women’s Roayl Rumble (i’m not virtue signalling. I don’t care about this new WWE pet project “women’s progressivism JUST CAUSE~!” like they did with Renee Dupree and such, like I said but I cried throughout the Rumble cause I’m an emotional wreck of a human being). It made me put up Batman Facepalms. It made me not care about a damn thing they were doing. It made made hate being a wrestling fan. It made me hate being among people that are wrestling fans.

But. As crazy as the year’s been.

BOOM! MY TOP THREE MATCHES:
#3. NXT’s War Games 2018
#2. Ricochet vs. Adam Cole at Takeover Whatever
#1. Women’s Royal Rumble

I’m don.e forreals this time. Nrearly 2000 words. No wonder I didn’t want to include this in a big “2018” rambling thing.

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