¡~Alejandría el Grande~!

Man.

Alexandria. Ocasio-Cortez.

What’s there o say about her? Right?!

She’s the new ‘future of the Democractic Party~~!” Because. You know. SOCIALISM!~ DEMOCRATIC SOCIALSM~! FEEL THE BERN~! 2016~! YEAH~! WOW~! THANKS, GRANDDAD BERNNIE~!

She’s the new face of the movement. Whilst. Holding. No elected office.

WOMP WOMP WOMP~!

And. Dudes. Those womps are over an ABSOLUTE fact. Right. Like. I haven’t even said that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Knows. NOTHING. Right. Like. As an opinion piece. Ihaven’t even made those sorts of comments yet.  But. Already. Womps. DESERVED to be used. Right?

So. Let’s kick this shit off.

Hate me. Slay me. But the best I can do is give you a right-leaning piece on her “viral” PBS interview thath appned recently.


Already. We’re making fun of how stupid she is.

And now.

We’re gonna delve into another video. Which needs HUGE FUCKING LABELS, APPARENTLY. So let me do that.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS EDITED FOR THE PURPOSE OF SATIRE. IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS UPON FIRST SIGHT OF THE VIDEO YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, DUDE. IF YOU THOUGHT THAT, SOME HOW, THIS WAS A LEGITIMATE INTERVIEW WHILST WATCHING IT, YOU NEED TO DO HUMANITY A FAVOR AND KILL YOURSELF. WITH THAT TRIGGER WARNING OUT OF THE WAY, WATCH THIS PRETTY DAMN… UNFUNNY CLIP THAT “THE LEFT” BECAME OUTRAGED ABOUT AT YOUR OWN DISCRECION.


As unfunny as this is, it still manages to display how stupid Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is. You know. Through satire.

And.

Dude.

Blah. Blah. Blah. B-fucking-lah.

Let’s have an argument about how Lenin invented the term “Democratic Socialist.”

Let’s debate the fact that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez can’t create an America that works without communism. Because. Dude. The math doesn’t add up. Legitimately. Good job, Democrats. 🙂

So.,… YEAH DUDE!

LET’S BUILD THE FUTURE OF AMERICA OFF OF…

Of…

Of…

Dude. This girl, Alexandria. She’s two years younger than me. Fuck. I’m too old. She, obviously, experienced years of institutional indoctrination. Like I had. But. You know. More so. And. I mean. I can’t blame her. Right?

She’s been around peoples that have ONLY told her, “‘NO, DUDE, YOU’RE RIGHT!’ ‘YOUR SO RIGHT YOUR AWESOME!’ ‘OMG!~ YOU COULD NEVER BE SO RIGHT!’ ‘OMJESUS, DUDE, IF YOU WEREN’T RIGHT RIGHT NOW, I’D THROW UP ALL OVER MYSELF!’ ‘DUDE, YOUR BELIEFS ON HOW THE WORLD SHOULD WORK, HOW AMERICA SHOULD GOVERN ITSELF ARE SO AWESOME THAT IF ANYONE EVER TELLS YOU YOU’RE WRONG, YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM ASSASSINATED!'”

You know. The typical college graduate in New York and such.

“WOW~! COMMUNISM~!”

As a 28-year-old. Sounds awesome. Right?

Especially since. You know. We. As Elder-(or any sort of)Millenials. Didn’t live through the Cold War. Communism just sounds neat. You know. Like. Living in Vennuzuella sounds like a weekend retreat if spending the weekend in the Hamptons is too dull. You know?

Sigh.

Just stop it.

Ocasio-Cortez is either going to go the way of the David Hoggs. Or she’ll be the next President of the United Sates. You know. In 12 years.

Congrats. America.

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