Faux News

Honestly, man, this should be a no-brainer.

This should be something in which every, single American should agree.

But. Of course. We, unfortunately, have to argue about everything imaginable. Because. HEY! 2017!

Let’s start with the basics:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

First Amendment. U.S. Constitution.

Then. Of course.

“THE” Republican President.

You know.

THE…

“Small government,”

“Conservative,”

Has to go and tweet…

THESE things.

And, PROBABLY… like… MORE IMPORTANTLY…

And.

I mean.

All-round.

Dude.

You can love Trump. AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

But. If you can ACTUALLY have NO criticism of him here.

Then you, dear reader, have NO right to HATE the previous president’s attack on Fox News’ James Rosen.

Hell man, ya’ll should LOVE that President Obama lead a boycott of Glenn Beck. (OK, I’m pretty positive that that story given doesn’t show Obama’s involvement in the boycott, but still). Ya’ll should LOVE that President Obama tried to discredit Fox News EVERY chance he had!

Right?

So. To all of my friends on the right.

You all should, MOST PROBABLY, be the MOST up in arms that President Trump is using his executive speech try drum up support to relinquish the freedom of the press.

We are better than this.

So. To all of my friends on the left.

You all should, just, bury your heads in the sand, like you did for the past eight years. You gave, little-to-no shit about the freedom of press/speech/etc. under President Obama. All of you now deciding to peak an eye out of the aforementioned sand, should just remain your daily activities. Nothing to see here.

Because.

You know.

Presidents be presidents. AMIRIGHT?

No worries about that “Constitution,” thing. It’s only an old, dusty document. You know. Something that could’ve NEVER foreseen the 2017 of today.

You know.

Come on, leftists friends. Stop worrying. You’ve done such a good job of it for the past eight years. No need to take concern now.

Back to my friends on the right.

Back in the day. You know. WAY back. In like 2010/2012 or so. I used to point to this video as SUCH proof that Obama’s going to be a dictator. AMIRIGHT?! OBAMA’S STILL GOING TO BE THE NEXT WORLD DICTATOR~! OF THE UN! BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAID SO~! OR SOMETHING!

But man.

Really.

Watch this.

Replace the word, “Obama,” and insert, “Trump.”

And… what do you, logically, get?

A situation that’s just as screwed up as it was under Obama.

So yeah.

Let’s federalize the Freedom of the Press.

Let’s start handing out licenses.

Lord knows, dear friends on the right, that President, God King Trump will last FOREVER. And the executive power to license or not license journalists. Will ALWAYS be in the hands of our God King, Trump.

Fake News.

Lastly.

Just.

Man.

Don’t get me started on “feelings.” And how “hate speech” needs to be regulated.

GTFO.

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Ryan

I’m pretty awesome. I write drunken ramblings. Lover of gaming. Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling. And I am your resident Batman expert.

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