Rapid Fire Reviews: PART SIX!

The French world for six is six. That’s lame.

But anyways.

Rapid Fire Reviews. That’s where I review things. Rapidly. Right? So. Yeah.

Jesus. Either I’m getting really, really, horrible at this. Or I alewasys was? I don’t know. Either way. Lets do this thing. Innit?

The Office

So.

bac in the dinosaur era. You know. WAY the fuck back when. Back when I was working at a moie theater and stuffs. “That’s what she said,” became a regular joke we’d say. Mostly thanks to th efforts of one shift manager named Patrick. Back then. When the joke… thing was making its rounds. I had NO idea that its origins came fomr this show. But I played along anyways. because. You know. I’m a byproduct of Mike Judge, Trey Parker/Matt Stone/Apatow Productions/etc. But mostly that first one… when you think about it.

And. Yeah.

Basically… the lst episode of the show has the GREATEST “That’s what she said,” joke. Ever… ever. It LITERALLY brought tears to my eyes. Not from laughter. But from the beauty of it. That. And. I’m an emotional disaster these days.

ALLLLL of that asider. The Office is… you know. It’s OK. It’s worth watching. Or…. probably semi-watching (as was mostly the case for me). The later seasons do drag on kinda hard. And. Up until that last episode Jim (who’s pretty much built to be THE “protagonist” of the show) ius pretty much a GIANT douche. Seriously. I HATED watching those little “smirk into the camera” moment things he did. Fuck that guy.

Horizon Zero Dawn

More than likely. This should have been a rambling I did on he Youtube channel a month ago. But. Things. And words. And so. Instead. I’m doing it here now. Because. Reasons. And things.

Easily put? Is this game gorgeous? Yes.

Is this game fun?

Probably not.

Like. Literally.

The main story’s barely visible outside of the openg tutorials and cutscenes and shit. Fomr tere it just becomes this big “GLOBAL WARMERING~!” thing. And bullshit bullshit, unskipable cutscene hologram things thate are dumb.

ALL OF THIS… PLUS THE COMBAT IS INCREDIBLY TEDIOUS~!

Granted. I only spent a couple of days playing itl. So. Maybe I didn’t get the FULL EXPERIENCE~! Or whatever. But man. It was… SERIOUSLY TOUGH powering through the latter parts of the man story/ And stuffs.And things.

So basically? The game’ a mixed bag. Awesome. But not at all. Right?

Logan

There is NO sugar coating this.

There was some reviewer, person, thing. That was quoted in the Youtuve ads for this film. And they called this movie “The Dark Knight of the X-Men movies.” And… yueah dude. That’s pretty much spot on.

Given the fact that The Dark Knight is the movie I’ve always wanted to see since I was six-years-old. And… thereby is… to me… the best movie ever made…

Just…

Yeah man.

As far as “X-Men” movies go. There is. NO DOUBT that this is… BY FAR the best of them . Period.

The relationship between Logan and Xacier? Amazing. The relationship between Logan and fucking… CXalaban? Amazing. The relationship between Logan and Lara… Don’t even get me started.

Tears came to my eyes NUMEROUS times during the movie. Not JUST because of emotional shit. MAYBE it’s just because… “it’s still real to me damn it~!” Or… more than likely… I’m just a complete, entire, emotional wreck… these… years. I don’t know.

Either way.

This movie is amazing. Period.

Watch it. Or else.

THANKS FOR THE PAYCHECK, FOX~!

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Ryan

I’m pretty awesome. I write drunken ramblings. Lover of gaming. Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling. And I am your resident Batman expert.

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