Ted Cruz’s Third Place Victory



So. i don’t know if you know this or not. But like. Some dude. This one time. His name wasd Marco Rubio. He won. REALLY big. Politically in th state of Iowa. He won SO GOD NDAMN HUGELY! So hugely, that the mainstream media, Fox News included, praised his victory so much that it was damn near wall-to-wall coverage.

However. THis man. Marco Rubio. He didn’t win the Iowa Caucus. He came in third place. He was behind Ted Cruz. And Donald Trump.

iowa

MARTCO RUIO IS THE NEW SAVIOR~! HE WAS WREAPPED IN LINEN CLOTH IN A MANGER IN IOWA~! OHMYGOONESS~!

That was the narrative of the mainstream meda. AND ESPECIALLY Fox News.

Marco Rubio was so victoriuous by coming in third place. After he was projected to come in third place! OHMYGOONESS!

Find more about that here:

But then. One two. Skip a few. Eight days later. After the Iowa Caucus. All of that. Amazing. Boom.

Eight days after the 2016 Iowa Caucus. A Caucus in which Ted Cruz recieved more votes than ANY Republican EVER has in the HISTORY of  the Iowa Cauces. EVER. Seriously.

Egith days after all of that.

The Republicans. And the Democrats. move on to New Hampshire. And thre’s this whole “FIRST IN THE NAION~@!” Thing. Primary. Awesomeness. Everything comes down to this. RIGHT>! No. not really. ESPEXCIALL forRepublicans. For Republicans, this is basically nothing. Hell in the last two primaries it’s gone to the two most progessive candidates in the field.

In 2008, New Hampshire went for John McCain.
in 2012, New Hampshire went for Mitt Romney. With John Huntsman Jr. for second place.

Remember John Hunstman Jr? The dudes that was advocationg for all of us to speak Mandarin and what noyt? Yeah. New Hampshire thought that he was a REALLYgood idea. So. There’s that little factoid.

And so. Now. We’re all supposed to bow down to the. Bow down to the KING! Because h won. This one time. Just now.  And believe him. He’s going to win week. After week. After week. After week, After week. And. Build a wqall. It’s going to be a great wall. Because it’s called management. It’s called we have a country.

And he won.

In New Hampshire.

New Hampshire.

The place that votes for progessive candidates constitantly. The place tghat votes for ESTABLISHMENT candidates time and time again.

Yet. Donaly trump isn’t establisment. At all. Or. You know. That’s the narrative his campaign still spews constantly. Somehow. Hrmph.

Hrmph.
Hrmph.

But. new Hampshire. Right.

There ACTUALLY was a Third Place Victory this time. I swear.

UNLIKE Marco Rubio’s rise to fame in Iowa. Onlty to use the same repeted soundbyte at the debats and everything. UNLIKE Marco. There WAS an ACTUAL third place victory. In New Hampshire. And since this candidate ISN”TE “mainstream” (Fox news included). His third place, ACTUAL victory wasn’t even mentioned.

At all.

Ted Cruz. Won HUGE in New Hampshire.

Ted Cruz was prjected to win FIFTH (AT BEST) iun New Hampshire. A styarte that is TOTALLY in the progessive tank. But he ended up winning third. THIRD. This SHOULD BE a… absolue HISTORIC MOMENT. But no. Ted Crusz isn’t “mainstream.” At all.

Insrtead. JOHN KASICH~! Who doesn’t have a prayer at becoming President, CAME IN SECOND~! WOW~! THINGS~! WQORDS~! OHMYGOONESS~! AMAZING~! SDONALD TERUMP. THE ESTALISHMENT, ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT CANDIDATE WON~! AND RTHWN KASICHC~! WOW~!

In a state wghiose slogan is, “Live free, or die,” They’ve MOSTLY chosen the latter. BUT. they;ve also chosen the former. With. Whar SHOULD BE a HUGE victory.

To Ted Cruz.

But. WEhartever. breitbart.com will still praise Donald Triump as trhe “sma;; govwenmewnt candidate.” Because. Money.

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Ryan

I’m pretty awesome. I write drunken ramblings. Lover of gaming. Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling. And I am your resident Batman expert.

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