The Batman Movie We Deserve

…and the one we need RIGHT NOWl.

With the information being dropped that Batfleck’s directed solo Batfilm will include Deathstroke as the main villain, there’s been a few emotions happening. Either total jubilation. Or total disgust. Becaue. That’s just how things work now-a-days. Obviously. Innit?

Oh yeah. And… apparently… the movie’s going to be called, The Batman. Which is just…

Ew.
Ew.

Either way. Givan all of this shiit. From Batman being Batfleck, (which is aproben awesome commodity at this point) to being set among this current DC universe (I mean, Batman’s going to be JUST coming off of uniting the Justice League and fighting some Apoaliyptian shit) to the title to Deathstroke being the main villain. The following will be the *JASON TODD-lesss* version of a movie that needs to happen. Basically.

No opening credits. Just logoas. And bam. Close of of Batfleck’s head. Zoom out, you see that Batfleck’s perched atop of a gargolyle or something. Something really tall. Buildingness. That’s all I’m getting at. Cape’s flopping in the wind.

Batfleck starts monulouging.

“Gotham, my city.” He says in VO. “The city I’ve vowed to protect 30 years ago,” QUICK. Like. LIGHTNING quick montage of parents’ death. Batfleck dives from his perched position. He’s quickl;y travelling, building to building. Arkam style.

“Thing have become quiet in my city,” Batfleck’s VO tells us as he’s gliding through the ari. “Roman Sionis is now behind bars. But it doesn’t end there.” Batfleck lands on another building. He watches as two men have a discussin on the ground. “It never ends.”

He glides to another building. But before he lands, he is cut by a sword. This is a total jumpscare. Wounded and unprepared for the situation, Deathstroke kicks the shit out of Batman. Stabs him a few times even.

Bruce is so badly beaten that he needs to order the Batmobile to remotely come to the building so he can fall down into it.

With Batman inside the BAtmobile, Deathstroke watches as it drives away. “And so it begins,” he says.

In the Batcave, Alfred is stitching Bruce up. Nightwing is there. This is a big deal. Bruce has never been this badly beaten up before. Alfred and Dick make note of this. A lot. There’s a tapping sound hear over and over again durig their conversation. Dick and Alfred don’t otice it at first.

Then there’s a close up of Bruce’s hand while their conversation continues. Alfred hushes Dick and focuses on Bruce’s hand. “Of course!” He says.

One, two, skip a few. Probably SOME childhood flashbacks. But not enough to make it obvious. Obviously some scenes with the doctor patching Bruce up, restoring him to health. Stuff and things like that.

Then. Batman’s healthy. Healthy enough. He infiltrates a nightclub. He’s crawling through vents. Arkham style. He eventually looks throw one vent. All that’s seen is a couple of thugs and one man sitting at a desk. “Count it again, you mug!” A voice says.

Batman crashes through into the room, taking out the thugs, when the quick beating is over, he’s still squated down. As he stands up, it’s revealed that the man at the desk has a dummy attached to his arm.

Batman interrogates the Ventriloquist about Deathstroke.

Cut to outside the club the billboard’s there. Words. Things. “My first attempt was fruitless.” Batman says in VO. Quick fade in and out of the club, GCPD is now all around the front of it.  Another fade out. And then fade in to another building. This time, the Iceberg Longe. GCPD’s all around the front of it again, of course. “My second attempt was even wrose.” Batfleck says in VOI.

Cut to some meeting with J.K. Simmons and Batfleck atop of GCPD. Batfleck does the disapearing act thing. He’s on another building. “How’s dad doing?” Oracle says in a VO. Batfleck and Oracle have a back an forth conversation. Batfleck tells her to do a search of known threats in Gotahm. Something along those lines.

“You’re not going to like this,” Oracle says.

Cut to… I don’t know a bank robbery. Something. Basically. Joker and HArley. They’re dpomng some criminal shit. Somewhere. With goons. Batman attempts to interrogate Joker. But it’s obviously going no wheres. At all.

Viola Davis shows up and takes control of Harley. And asks, “What about him? Are you sure we should send him back to Arkham?”

Stuffs and things like that.

Batfleck grapples up to a buildingafter things died down. Only for another jumpscare. It’s Deathstroke again. Batman doesn’t totally get his ass kicked. But he gets cut a couple of times.

One, two, skip a few, ninety-nine.

Boom.

Batman fights Deathstroke again. This time, he totally annilhilates him and what not. Hero’s victory. “WHO HIRED YOU?!” Batfleck screams. “I WANT A FUCKING NAME!” Thats the F-bomb for this OG-13 flik.

Deathstroke says, “Tommy.”

Boom.

I rekt you.

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Ryan

I’m pretty awesome. I write drunken ramblings. Lover of gaming. Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling. And I am your resident Batman expert.

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