What Do I Drink?

So.

I mean.

Way back when I syarted doing podcasts. You know. In the yesteryear of 2013. Jesus, man. How simple were the times back in 2013, innit? Compared to today? Jesus man. But like. You know. Back ewhen I was doing my little “internet radio shouw/podcast” thing… that I miss more than having sex on a consistent basis.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: The word, “consistent” SHOULD have an “a” in thare. GTFO.

But. Anywyas.

From 22013. To 2016. You know. The run of “The Drunken Radio Network.” Forwhat it was.

No matter whome, you know, may have been bore and/or awesome enough to join me on those little talk show thinguses.

One of the biggest questions was ALWAYs:

What are yopu drinking tonight?

To which.

I’d responde. You knowl. Somewhat sarcasitcally with an answers semi-resembling this:

Because.

I mean.

Dependingong on the uyear, or so. I would drink the same thing every night. You know., Whenever I’d drin. And such. For the most part. Obviously. There were times. YOu know. Like during the Christmas show and such. I’d have my rum and egg nog and such.

But.

Buy and large.

I’d drink te same thing every night.

And. I mean. For the most part. Even now. Vodka is my go to drink. Because I’m poor. or. You know. Poorer than most people that drink on an even semi-regular basis that i do. And such. I’m not sure where I’m going with this paragraph. So. I’ll end it.

But mostly.

It’s vodka.

Beer’s played a paert in all of this. Sure. But still.

But my go-to drinks had to do with vbodka. And since. You know. I’m a pussy and such. I have to drink mixed frinks. Outside of tequilla. I don’t think I’ve EWVR taken a straight shot of… anything. Although, I’ve had Scotch with ice. But still.

Here we go.

As a CERTIFIED mixologist. Here are my “recipes.” That I’ve pretty much followed for the entirety ofg RyansDrunk.com. And such.

Poor Man’s Sparkling Whine:

• 2 oz. vodka in a collins glass
• Fill with Fanta Grape Soda

Poor Man’s Whine:

• 2 oz. vodka in a collins glass
• Fill with your choice of grape juice

Poor man’s Rum n’ Coke

• 2 oz. vodka in a collins glass
• Fill with Barq’s Root Beer

So., Tghere you have it. There it is. Man. Those are the drinks that have gotten this quasi-alchoholic driunk over these past. You know. Six years. And. Rememver. I AM. A certified mixologist. Hell. It was aftr I got that mixolgist certification that ANY of this started.

Do. You. Remember? Jesus man. How the times have changed in six years. Forreal;s.

Congrats?

But not at all really.

Damn it. This rambling was NO WHERE NEAR as fun as I wanted it to be. Apologies.