Batman.
i am. And will always proclaim to be. A Batman expert. Thus far. I’ve had no challengers to take me on. So. I’ll keep proclaiming all that shit. Because.
No one’s got he balls to challenge me on it.
but.
In reality. I’m just not relevant enough. Obvious;y.
But. In my non-relevant. Batmany expert sort of way. WQhat I want to do now is. You know. Count down the top 10 BEST Batman stories tyhat I KNOW OF. These stories can come from comics, movies, TV shows, whatever. These are just. You know. My personal favorites. Things. Like thart.
So. Without any further ado. NO TYP:O. “Adieue” is soemthing else. Ado is the correct word you assholes.
But awywys.
10. “Second Chance” – The Adventures of Batman and Robin
Mostly. I love this story. Because. I love Two-Face. For reason I’ll go into later. essentially, what happens here is : Two-Face is going to have an opperation to fix his faces. But there’s someone out there trying to stop him from recovering. It’s Haervey Dent’s worst enemy. Batman’s trying to figure out who it is. And. Awesomeness.
9. Mad Love – The Batman Adventures/The New Adventures of Batman and Robin
OK So. I wasn’t sure on something just now. Or like. efore I started writing this. Hate me. Slay me. Whatever. But. I found out. Thnks to Google. One little tidbit. The comic happened before the episode. Like. Almost five years before. So. That’s cool. Essentially. This is the story of Harley Quinn’s origin. THE original sotry of her origin. Before the New 52 bullshit took place. And we got this bullshit Suicide Squard movie version of the Joker/Harley relationship. Look. Paul Dini MAY be thrilled that Joker was depicted as being IN FUCKING LOVE with Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad but I’m not. But then again. Apparently, in the movie universe. Joker admits that he’s damaged. SO MUCH SO. That he tattooes it on his fucking forehead. Sigh. Either way. This story. Is amazing. Read/watch it. The episode of TAS (cause… let’s face it… it’s still pretty much TAS._) is pretty much bit by bit. Word for word. An animated veerrsion of the book. So. Sigh. I wrote WAY too much about this.
8. The Killing Joke
Look. First of all. This story isn’t as CUM FILLED AMAZING@!~! As everyone makes it out to be. Second of all. THe anoimated movie isn’t the complete piece o f shit everyone makes it out to be either. This story earns a solid #$8. Because. It’s good. No question about it. But it’s not the most epic piece of epicness ever. Like. As I said. Most people make it out to be. It’s a great story. About the BAtman/Joker relationship. A phenomael story about their relationship. But. There’s been better.
7. Batman: The Man Who Laughs
Now. I know. What I just sdied there. Was likew. Try to insinuate that there’s been better sotries. About the Batman/Joker relationship. To lead into this next one and stuffs./ But no. This story here. It’s a retelling of Batman No. 1. Pretty much. Published just a few months before the release of batman Begins. “The Man Who Laughs” retells the story o hw Batman first met the Joker. And it’s almost. ALMOST. Word for word. Retelling of their first meeting in 1940. Only. You know. Modernmiszed. With gritty details. And awesome.
6. All-Star Batman and Robin
I mean. I remember that clip up there being a lot more awesome than it apparently is. But still. For what it’s worth. It’s still pretty awesome. This ill-fated series written by Frank Miller with art by Lee…. Fuck. His name’s escaping me. But this Lee dude is awesome as all hell. Anyways. This series. For what it’s wroth. Is. AMAZING. it gets shit on. For some reason. But. God damn. Do I love it. It’s the reason we’ve got the “I’m the God damn Batman!” quote. And. It’s an amazing take on how Batman (merhaps Earth 31’s Batman, anwyays) met Robin. Dick Grayson. Things. And I love it. To death. It also explores the origins of Batgirl. Barbara Gordon ness. Awesomely. Someone even calls her a cunt. It’s just. You know. My type of awesomeness. Love it. Sucks that it never got finished. And his name’s Jim Lee. Jesus. How did I forget that?
5. The Dark Knight Returns
Earth-31 at it’s finest. This book. Or. You know. Series of publications if you wanna be technical. Was. Seriously. The steroid Batman needed at the time. Sure it has its doubters. Forger Batman writers sent hate mail to Frank Miller or whatever. But forreals. This bok has it all. An amazing HArvey Dent story. Which… you know. Most Harvey Dent stories (including #10 on this list) try to mimmick. It’s got a FGREAT Joker story. And the AMAZING Superman fight. Plus the bit with the Mutants is also pretty awesome too. Everything you want from Batman. Can be seen here. Period.
4. The Long Halloween
Pretty much. This is. Almost THE definitive Harvey Dent story when it all boils down to it. It’s almost the perfect telling of Harvey Dent’s fall from grace. There’s a couple of stories about this topic that are better. This once falls behind mostly because the artwork is lame as shit. I mean. Look ath that Joker face. Right? But like. It’s also boosted by an awesome telling of Batman/Catwoman. And the whole mystery behind the holliday killerness is cool. All and and. This is. Obviously. One of the best Batman stories ever.
3. “Two-Face” Parts 1 and 2 – Batman: The Animated Series
And so. I was like… five/six years old. And I found out. That Batman had a villain named Two-Face. But. This villain was first once of Bruce Wayne’s best friends in the whople entire world. And that story was told in this two parter from The Animated Series. Instantly. I was hooked. And I’m STILL a HUGE Two-Face fan to this day. Obviously. Even though. You know. THE telling of Bruce/Harvey/Batman/Two-Face has nothing to do with Bruce and HArvey being friends. Or whatever. Still. This bit here. Has a special place in my heart. Because. Reasons.
2. The Dark Knight
Now. Hear me out a bit. I’ll give this quick prefix. It’s been a good five years, give or take, that I’ve watched this movie. Hell. Off the top of my head. The last time I watched it was 2012, pregaming for Rises. Given all of that. AND. Given everything I’ve just said throughout this rambling. This. IS. THE. Movie I’ve wanted to see since I was six-years-old. It’s got the great Dentness. Awesome Gotham gangsterness. And f course. Heath Ledger’s Joker. Post-humanous or not. To this date. His portrayal of the Joker is the ONLY time a “comic book movie” has EVER won a MAJOR Oscar. And. For fuck sake. It would be an ABSOLUTE DREAM. To go on Drunk Movie Fights on ScreenJunkies argue Marc Andreyko about Batman movies. Back in 2008. Christopher Nolan repeatedly said in interviews. Something along the lines of, “This movie is mostly about Harvey Dent.” Things. And. God damn it. I love it. Obviously. Best movie ever made.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
So… I hope these aren’t long as fuck. Biut like. I have no idea how else to do these. i want to mention bits and piece of these and stuffs. But like. I don’t wanna do HUGE paragraphs like the others. You feel me? Let’s see how it goes, I guess.
And. They’re in NO order. At all.
JLA: Tower of Babel
I mean. For anyone that thinks Batman is just some rich guy with daddy issues. He couldn’t take anyone in a fight. yadda. Yadda. Shut the fuck up and read this story. Period.
Joker
Now. This story doesn’t have much of anything to do with Batman. But it’s awesome. It tells a great tale of how Gotham’s undrbelly works. And such. It’s just. fantastic. Tremendous. Yuge.
“The Fear” Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians
Lots to say about this. I mean. This is the FIRST time Batman’s parents’ death was EVER depicted on television. Adam West does the voice of Batman throughout this series. Stuffs. things. Words. Only thing holding it back is that it’s dated as ALL hell. But still awesome. Worth a watch. Definitely.
Batman (1966)
Look. I’m just picking the movie because. Legit. Without CBS picking up this BAtman television series. The Batman character probably doesn’t sruvive past the silver afe of comic books. The movie’s good enough for what it is. Bat-shark repellant and sll.
Batman (1989)
This is what created my Bat-love. Without this movie’s existence. I would probably be in love with something lame like Pokemon or something. It tells an awesome tale involving Joker and Batman. “I created you, no you created me,” thing. People were literally paying for tickets to movies that featured the trailer for this thing. And walking out after they watched the trailer. For all its faults. It deserves SOME recognition. And I’m giving it here.
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
To be honest. I’ve only seen the movie… twice I think. But it’s got a great story. Aeesome Jokerness happeing. Awesome Batman backstoryness happing. And it was inteded to be the conclusion to the now legendary Batman: The Animated Series. What more could you want right?
The Kevin Smith… saga?
I don’t know. There’s probably a better term around the interwebs about Kevin Smiths’ to Batman stories. Cacophony and The Wandering Irse. Things. But like. I loved spending this past year’s Batman Day with Kevin Smith. And he liked it too. Accoring to my Twitter. But forreals. There’s a bit of obviousness that is obvious. But the artwork by Walt Flannigan is awesome. And stuffs. Even thought there’s no conclusion. ‘Tis a good read, indeed.
AND FINALLY… NUMBER ONE…
1. Batman: Hush
I mean. Was thr ever any doubt? I’ve said time and again, I’m sue. On RyansDrunk.com. On th ole’ Drunken Radio Network. Probably on Youtube. That this is my favorite Batman story. And sure. It has faults; Of course. I mean. It’s obviously obvious that Hush is Dr. Thomas Elliot and such. But still. The story has WAY to many twists and turns. It is THE best telling of Batman/Catwoman loving on each other and stuffs (even though, they’re now engaged or whatevr). Jim Lee’s Art is AMAZING. It’s a story that intertwines with most all of Batman’s rogues gallery. The Joker bit (though small) is… fucking. PERFET. The Harvey Dentiness is great. Riddler’s fucking awesome. PLUS there’s an even MORE amazing Batman/Superman fight than what’s on display in The Dark Knight Returns. Just. I mean. Absolutel. Batman. Perfection. Period. Although. I’d have liked to see some sort of Scarface/Vantriloquist cameo at least. But still. Amazing.
And there you have it. True believers. ~! Something. Mocking Stan Lee for no eason.
Take care. Or whatever.
Because. I don’t know how to end ramblings.
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