All of the BATMAN NEWS~!

Well. I mean. It’s not like I HAVENT’ talked about a lot of this before. It’s just that. I haven’t talked about any of this publically. Yet. Because. Admittedly, I’m being a lazy cunt. And “lolz editing audio is hard.” But I promise. This week. Ryan and Dave Do Podcasting is GOING to debut. Period. The end. Bar none.

But. Hey.

BATMAN NEWS~!

Old school. (?)

Obviously. Tghe easiest place to start is with Michael Keaton. A couple of weeks ago, it was released by Michael Keaton’s agent (basicaly, or, you know, someone close to the situation that wanted to feel out the fan interest before it became official) “leaked” that the actor had been tapped to portray Bruce Wayne/Batman in the, apparently, upcoming Flashpoint movie (starring Ezra Miller). Michael Keaton would be an even older Bruce Wayne than Ezra Miller is familiar with… I guess… and he’d be the dude pulling the strings. Michael Keaton. Batmanyness. Would be the mastermind figuring out these elseworlds and whatnot.

I mean. As many-a complai9nt I have about Michael Keaton Batman…

#1. It’s because of that Tim Burton 1989 movie that I love Batman in the first place.
#2. Bruh. I don’t care. This scenario… plot point… whatever… sounds amazing. Period. The end.

If Michael Keaton Batman is the one researching “multi-verses” or… dare I say… worlds of DC? I mean. That’s amazingly awesome. Moreso than words can ever descrive. Because. I mean… it’s, basically, cannon now that Eza Miller Flash exists in the same universe as the bullshit, soap opera Flash TV show. So…

NOT SO RANDOM SIDENOTE: Dude… if you hate Ezra Miller as Flash. Legit. Just know that you’re wrong. Or something? Legit? I have 0% problems with his role in Justice League. But. I mean. Take that for what you will, I guesss. Legit. I think Justice Leage is a better movie than The Avengers so…

The point of all of this? Zack Snyder/Joss Weadon’s Justice League exists in the same world as CW’s ArrowSoapVerse. So. That’s awesome. Cool. Things. Obviously.

Trouble’s going to be if “mainstream” audiences are ready for “multiverses” or not. Me? Yeah dude. I’m all in. I have been since… I dunno. 2016 or something. Hell. I’ve been all in since 213. When like. I first started calling for director/writers/whatevers to start telling THEIR OWN Batman stories. Like we get in comics. You know? Batman: Hush is MUCH different than Batman: R.I.P. you knowe?

RANDOMISH SIDENOTE: Grant Morrison is still the worst Batman writer ever.

But anyways. Flashpoint movie? Happening? Starring Ezra “OH NOEZ!~ A CHOKE ‘HAPPENED’ (?)” Miller. With Michael Keaton being the “puppetmaseter” or the dude that’s got ALL SORTS of knowledge about the multiverses, helping Flash along in his journey?

I mean. This meme doesn’t do itself justice.

ADD ON TOP OF THISE THAT… Merhaps… Jeffrey Dean Morgan could be Thomas Wayne Batman? WITH You know… Actress from Walking Dead, “Maggie” person… being Martha Wayne Joker?

…

Dude. My money is in the cashregister already. Before I ever touched it myself, dude. Legit.

Add on top of this… THE SLIGHTEST, apparent, rumor that Christian Bale as Batman could also make a cameo? Dude. I’ve Batmansturbated, came 50,000 times, and have died due to Batmansturbation.

Whivh lerads me to some… other news.

Apparently, just fresh off the presses… Or something…

“HBO MAX” the streaming platform that “bought (or whatever’d)” the rights to South Park to onlyu censor EVEN MORE of their episodes than even HULU… they’re… announcing? Or something? A “Gotham Central” TV show that’s set in the same universe as Matt Reeves’/Battinson’s The Batman. Only. You know. THIS TIME! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GCPD! Which… you know… I mean… we kinda already did this? With Fox’s Gotham right? Sure. Sharing the universe is, potentially, cool (I’ve got to see the, apparent, The Batman, movie to be sure but…) Bruh… minus Renee Montoya and Harvey Bullock (who, apparently is too big of a screen-rights name to include in this fucking show), I couldn’t, won’t, will never, give a shit about the GCPD. OK. Gordon too. James Gordon is a part of the GCPD. So of course I give a shit about him.

WOW!~! A WRITER/WHATEVER OF Boardwalk Empire WHO ALSO HAD A HAND IN The Sopranos IS ATTSACHED TO RUN THE SHOW OR WHATEVER! I mean. Yeah. That’s all cool. Legit. Buit I mean. I don’t care. OH NOEZ~! SOME BATMAN ROGUES MAY SHOW UP?! I mean…

Again…

I mean. This, apparent, “Gotham Central” show already happened. To… you know… limited success… so…

I mean… I watched the first few episodes of Gotham. Then gave up. Because. Dude. By and large. They missed the point of Batman. Entirely. Kinda like a certain movie I’ve asked y’all to give me $1 to read about my thoughts. But. I’ll reveal this little (MAJOR) problem I had with that movie… which… I mean.. is close to the biggest problem I had with Gotham. No one. NOT ONE. Of Batman’s rogues (as in, they are a MAJOR villain in Gotham City) before Batman shows up. Sure. Oswald Cobblepot exists in a world pre-Batman. But THE PENGUIN. Does not. Gotham ruined this, VERY fundamental fact over and over and OVER again. That I didnt even care that I didn’t complete the first season.

Now. No. This problem doesn’t, apparently, exists in this The Batman-verse of this Gotham Central HBO MAX shjow. Thing. Happening. So that’s good. What This Gotham Central show has going against it, for me, is that… again… I don’t give a shit about GCPD outside of three names. So…

FFS. IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR A “NIGHTWING” SHOW DONE IN THE VEIN OF Daredevil?! I MEAN… COME ON! HOW HARD CAN THIS SHIT BE?!

Yes. Yes. “OH NO~! COPYRIGHTS… OR WHATEVER…” Bitch. Your streaming platform is owned by the same God damn corporation that owns the comic books. HOW HARD CAN THIS SHIT BE?!

Fine. You can’t do Batman. I get it. He’s worth too much money. But. Mother fuckers.

Nightwing is just hanging out there. Especially since ya’ll are shooting for MULTIPLE “DC Worlds.”

Or…. FFS…

I’ll give you this one for free, HBO MAX/AOL-Time-Warner-Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-Toyota-Trader-Joe’s. You know you (being the Time Warner branch of the company… you know… all of you that HATED Zack Snyder SO DAMN MUCH…. all that) you guys? You bring back Joss Whedon… you all hire him to do a Batgirl TV show. Like Alias and such. Boom. Moneys. For you.

GRI8TTY… Sopranos/Boardwalk Empire take on GCPD sounds cool. Don’t get me wrong. But. Dude. Again. There’s AT MOST three “lead” characters I’ll EVER give a shit about. Period. The end. Bar none.

Gimme Nightwing. Gimme Batgirl. Fuck. Gimme Oracle. ALL OF THOSE sound like a better TV show than “LOLZ… WE’RE, BASICALLY, GOTHAM ON FOX! BUT, WE CAN SAY NAUGHTY WORDS AND HAVE NUDITY NOW~!”