So… HA! Here’s a RUSSO SWERVE~! The very first “Top 10 List” I ever wrote to milk like this, dude. It happened in high school. I was the entertainment section editor-cum-editor-inchief. In my senior year and stuffs. And like. For some reason, I thought that people, “reading,” the school paper would like to know my favorite movies of all time. On that list? I dunno.
All I know for sure. Is. For some reason. I includeed Scent of a Woman at like #9. I dunno. I mean. Sure. There’s been some good movies sinse then. But like. WHOOOO-AHHH! That shit’s not even going to be an honorable mention.
Idunno… I guess I thought a movie co-starring Chris O’Donnel would get me some “film bugg” cred or something.
Either. Fucking. Way. Dude.
Let’s do this.
By the way. Yes. There will be an honorable mention section. I promise, I won’t do this for EVERY top 10 this year. But. I’m still a bit of a film buff. And. I mean. You’ll be surprised by a few of these that are only honorable mentions. I swear.
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO
10. Superbad
Dude. This was my high school years. Especially like senior year. Minus THE parties. THE “parties” didn’t happen until like after graduation. But like. Yeah. Merhaps that means I’ve got to be cancelled now or whatever. But yeah dude. High school all the way. Hanging out with your best friend. Trying to find a way to get alcohol. Having a “fake ID.” Yup. That was the high school life.
Bruh. I went to prom with this dumb, little, Suzuki thing. But it was still amazing because it was like our first time just being alone in a car together and stuffs. That shit was cool.
Fucking. Superbad. Comedy? Yes. Amazing? Yes. If there were a comedy award at the Oscars, there’s no way this movie doesn’t win in 2008 or whatever. However the Oscars work, I sdon’t fucking care. Amzaing movie. My high schoolness. Good times. Period.
Plus. Hilarious.
9. Saw
Dude. The success of this movie? This feranchise? Was ALL on the back of Blockbuster and word of mouth. That’s THE WHOLE REASON why Saw became a decade-lasting thing. Word of mouth. And. Blockbuster. That’s not a knock. That’s not… anything. It’s just me stating a fact.
And this is me acknowleding the best “horror” movie ever made. James Wan, Leigh… person…. it’s just nothing but brilliance here. It sucks that they didnt’ recreate that magic with… what was it called? Death Silence? Something like that. Something about a pupptet. It was dumb. But whatever. Saw? It was amazing dude. Everyone played their part awesomely. Shut up crime.
The twist? It’s the best one I’ve seen since… well… one of the later movies on the list.
And dude. That’s it. Don’t care. The first three Saw films are great-OK. In that order. Something like that. Afterwards? They all started to suck until, FINALLT Carey Elwes showed up again and stuffs. But whatever. The end. Next.
8. Toy Story
This one? It’s a deep cut. This one ? This was my last, like.. “kids movie…” that I loved,.. as a kid. You know? None of the sequels ever did anything for me. But this? This is still amazing. Even if the animation is… you know… not up to par these days, you know>?
But. Obviously. Toy Story is magic.
I thought my toys could be alive for years afterwards.
Like… I had a hammer in one hand… an action figure in another, and I said to that figure…
Tell me you’re alive or else I’m going to smash your balls.
Needless to say… Razor Ramon sang sapranao from then on. Or something.
7. Titanic
No. It’s never made me cry. This man doesn’t have feelings. Or. Whatever the meme is.
But. Fucking. Love it. Either way. I used to say I thought I was on Titanic in a past life,. But that was back when I actusally believed in… anything. But whatever. Leo does a good job acting, despite all the critics back then and… probably now. Kate Winslet was fantastic. Kathy Bates nails it out of the park. Or whatever. Sportsball.
TITANIC~!
Boom.
James Cameron is pretty dumb. But whatever. Don’t care. Uh.
Oh yeah. This is easily the movie I’ve “watched” the most times more than any other. Mostly because I’d have it play in the background. And. You know. You put Titanic on… you don’t have to change he channel for AT LEAST 3 hours. Right?
Great movie though. Love it. Truly.
6. A Clockwork Orange
Sp./// uh… here’s a movie that existed. When I was in high school . But I didn’t see until like… a year or so after I graduated. THANKS BLOCKBUSTER!
I mean. This might not be his masterpiece. But Jesus Christ does this movie SCREAM “Stanley Kuybrick!” You know? The Shining? 2001: A Space Odeyeyssee? Nah bruh. Clockwork ALL OVER THEIR FACES MY LITTLE DROOGIES!
Thankfully, for Malcolm McDowell… he made a career out of this shit. Sio…
Shut up, crime. This movie’s amzinf.
5. Forrest Gump
So uh. First of all.
Michael Conner Humphreys won the Oscar, not Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks developed the character after hanging around the acter that played the younger, titular character. So. Basically. Mr. Hanks owes his career and credibility to mr. Humphreys.
Either way. This movie includes the best villain to ever grace the big screen.
Sure. Throw at me your Hannibal Lecters. Throw Jack Nicholson’s Joker at me. Darth Vader. Norman Bates. The Wicked Withco f the West.
NONE of them. Compare the the villainy.
That is.
Jenny.
And Robin Wright plays here perfectly.
And yes. Tom Hanks is amzing as well. As is Gary… person. This is such a complete film. It just befuddles me how NO ONE recognizes Jenny as the worst villain of any movie ever. Because. She. OBVIOUSLT is. Shut up. Crime.
4. The Departed
When I was your age, they would say, “You could become cops or criminals.” What I’m saying to you is this: When you’re facing the barrel of a loaded gun… what’s the difference?
Bruh…
Like..
This movie is SO amazing… as soon as I remembered that it existised, I HAD to watch it. I went to Netclix. No good. Thankfully, HBO Max was able to help me out, you know? Thanks, Time Warner! Or whatever the corporation is… I dunno. But thanks.
All I know, for sure. Is that everyone. EVERYONE. Even… Alec. Fucking. Baldwin. Is an amazing actor in this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio acted his fucking guts out in this movie. But it took like like… 10 years. Getting raped by a bare. And mumble rapping. To get him his Oscar, finally. Fucking. Nicholson? Can’t be touched. Damon? Can’t be touched. Wahlberg? Can’t be touched. Sheen? Fucking. EVERYONE. Is amaxzing.
RANDOMISH SIDENOTE: Boston accents, dude. Even Alec Baldwin pulls it off pretty perfectly.
This is DAMN NEAR Martin Scorsesse’s masterpiece. And it’ the film that FINALLY won him an Oscar.
It’s fucking highway robbery that Leo was nominated for Blood Diamond instead of this movie in 2008 or whatever. 2007? I dunno. Whatever. Instead of Departed, he was nominted for Blood Diamond such bullshit. Fuck life. Basically.
Everyone involved? Besides Scorsesseeee.. lol.. uh… best movie ever.
Martin did a better one. But… dun dun dunnnnnn… keep reading.
3. Goodfellas
And by “keep reading,” I mean. Right now, dude.
This.
Is.
Martin Scorsese’s masterpiece. Taxi Driver (which won’t even be an honorable mention)? Raging Bull (See: Taxi Driver)? The Wolf of Wall Street? The Departed? The Irishman? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Probably some others.
The Aviator? Get the fuck outta here.
Goodfellas is Martin Scorsese’s masterpiece. By a LARGE margin. It’s so chaotic. It’s… hard to put into words.
Joe Pesci steals the movie kinda, sure. But everyone. Dinero… Liotta.. Paull… peronson… whatshernamethatwentontobethetherapistinTheSopranos… fucking… everyone is on their A-game. Obviously.
Funny thing? I’m 99% positive that Goodfellas was #3 back in my high school days too.
Now? #2 rthat happened back then… it’s an honorable mention.
And… what was #1 back then… happens…
Now.
2. Fight Club
Oh my god…
Just watching that trailer there makes me want to put this at #1. But nah bruh. It can’t happenes.
Fight Club was the first movie I watched on DVD. Fun trivia question for when I’m famous or something. Fight Club is the movie that turned my into a film buff in my teens-20’s. Fight Club is the film that made me fall in love with… books. BOOKS. Of all fucking things. Books, dude.
Fight Club was a novel written by Chuck Palahniuk. He wrote a bunch of amazing novels. Survivor is my, personal, favorite novel… period. But that’s not to take abything away from like his other “classics” like Invisible Monster, Lullaby, or especially… Choke,…
The latter there? It shoul;d have been a MUCH better movie. But thanks to Agent Colsonpersob, who ruined The Avengers.. it wasn’t as good as it should have been. But. We’ve been over this.
Edward Norton was like my favorite actor ever for a while there.
Yest. Best twist of any movie ever. Like. You’ve never seen FGight Cluc until yuo’ve watched it from Marla Singer’s perspective . And. Them’s the facts dude.
David Fincher is a thing.
And… yeah. Fucking amazing.
Honorable Mentions
listed in order of how much I have to talk about them… hopefuelly
The Godfather Trilogy: This was #2. back in the day. But dude. Shit’s boring. Good. Awesome, even. But boring. Brando’s amazing. DiNerio playing young Brando is amazing. Pacino’s amazing. Don’t care. Movies are boring, bruh. But amazing. Lol
The Fourth Kind: It’s the only movie that actually SCARED me. Yes. It was a dumb “found footage” thing. But I didn’t know that at the time. And I was terrified. Shaking, evem.
Step Brothers: I love Will Farrell comedies. This shit is so quotable. Dewey Cox (here’s an honorable mention in the honorable mentions for Walk Hard) person is amazing too. Love it.
Insomnia: Al Pacino. Robin Willisam. Christopher Nolan. Hillary Swank. And it has to do with something that I have to deal with personally. Insomnia. Not the murder of some college girl. Obviously.
Definitely, Maybe: I do like romcoms. And this is, hands down the best romcom I’ve seen. Even though… now that I think on it… Fools Rush In should probably be here instead. But oh well. Good job, Ryan Reynolds!
The Shawshank Redemption: I’m pretty sure IMDB would kill me if I didn’t at least mention it and call myself a “film buff,” at the same time. You know?
Anchorman: I love Will Farrell comedies. This shit is so quotable. “A whale’s vagina.” Sasha knows what I’m on about.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: I DESPERATEMY wanted to include this in the top 10. But couldn’t.
Pulp Fiction: See above.
Django Unchained: Amazing, dude. Leo needs to be playing heel WAY more often.
Scarface: This was like… high on the list in high school. It’s still a good time. But not THAT great, you know?
Inception: Great movie. Forgot it existed until I was about to publish this, though.
Super: SHUT UP, CRIME! Plus… this is HANDS DOWN Eliot Page’s best acting performance.
Watchmen: With all apologies to Alan Moore.
RANDOM SIDENOTE: I’m still watching The Departed, right? And good god almight. Good god almighty. They killed this scene! Leo and Jack. It’s the scene where Jack’s asking Leo if he’s the rat and like, drops a gun and stuffs. OOOF bruh. OOOOF. They’re both such amazing actors here. BRUH!
1. The Dark Knight
I knew this was number one.
You knew this was number one.
We all knew this was number one.
HEY!
This is the movie I’ve wanted to watch since I was six-years0old. Joker’s obviously the best Batman villain there is. Two-Face is my favorite in Batman’s rogues gallery. And this movie has actors portraying the both of them perfectly. No one’s come close to Heath Ledger’s performance in the role yet. Sure. Nicholson was good. But he was an edgy Caesar Romero. He wasn’t the Joker. Ledger was.
And… I’m pretty God damned positive that this movie is still the only comic book movie to ever win a major Oscar. Ledger won Best Supporting Actor and stuffs. And I mean. Come off it. The Dark Knight was a FAR better film than Slumdog Millionaire.
Um.
Other than that…
I think…
That’ll do it.
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