What I want to, quickly, do right now is answer some questions. Some of these have come from previous frequenters of RyansDrunk.com. But most are questions that I’m asking myself. For… you know… obvious reasons. Or something close to obvious reasons anyways.
But basically, I just wanted to do something tonight before I went to sleep. And I didn’t want to make RyansDrunk.com any more dead than it already is. So… enjoy? Maybe?
Q: Are you really drunk when you write your ramblings?
A: Yes. I know that the lines have been blurred here recently. Especially since I’ve, as of now, discontinued the keeping of drunken typos, posted random news stories or have posted “articles” when I have just felt like writing something. However. Dear reader, I swear on the minuscule success that COULD come from this little website of mine that if NOTHING else, if you were to click the “Drunken Ramblings” category at the VERY top of this website, I WAS drunk when I wrote the publication.Take me for my word. Or don’t. It’s TOTALLY up to you.
Q: Are you racist?
A: I know I’ve used THE word that would categorize myself as such in today’s world. But, personally, I don’t define myself with a singular word. Nor should anybody. Do I harbor hate towards a specific race? Yes. And that race is Asians. And… need I remind you?
Q: What do you drink?
A: 99.9% of the time, I enjoy a mixed cocktail. But normally, it’s just CHEAP vodka mixed with soda. But beers do play a part in this equation from time-to-time as well.
Q: Why do you hate President Obama?
A: Side note here, I SERIOUSLY hated myself for typing the name. Because. Well. Listen to The Drunken Radio Show. But anyways. I do NOT “hate” the president. Nor do I hate anybody. I do HATE the policies that he may try to bestow upon the nation. But I don’t him HIM. Nor do I hate ANYBODY. Except for Asians.
Q: Why do you like wrestling? You know that it’s just homo-eroticism, right?
A: I like wrestling because. Well… you can read about it in The Drunken Diaries – Someone’s Drunken Ramblings You Don’t Want to Read. Seriously. Search for, “drunken diaries,” on you little Kindle app. Read words. Have yourself an amazing time. Because, really, it’s ONLY $2.99. But, to answer your condescending “OMG~! IZ SOW ORIGINAL” question, wrestling has NOTHING to do with homo-eroticism. At all. Let’s continue?
Q: Why Weiner/Holder in 2016?!
A: Weiner/Holder in 2016 was a topic that I pulled out of my ass in one of the VERY first episodes of The Drunken Radio Show. Hell, it was still, probably, Ryan’s Drunken Radio back then. It became a running gag at the time. But either way. If Anthony Weiner were to become the Democratic presidential nominee, and IF he were to choose Eric Holder as his running mate. I WOULD vote for that ticket. I would HAVE to vote for them even despite my own political beliefs. Just for the principle of the situation.
I don’t know. I believe this covered some things that are pressing to you. But… there’s probably more questions that are not coming to me. Unfortunately. So… check out WrestleUTA.com. Cause… why not?
And… for the sake of the matter…
Q: Are you drunk when you do UTA’s recaps?
A: No. I totally fake being drunk when I write them. Because, despite popular belief, I am NOT an alcoholic. Nor am I drunk 24 hours a day. Nor do I get drunk 7 days a week. So. For those of you that doubt my sincerity on the first question answered here… NOW you have your proof. I CAN absolutely and easily feign being drunk. At least. You know, when it comes to typing.
Sorry. I became a bit too serious there at the end. Apologies. But. Bye. Like always. Sort of.