The Drunken Watching of… The Dark Knight

While I’m not giving it the “12DoDM19” label… this is it. The final “Watching of” in this 12 Days of a Drunken Mess. I’ve kinds been teasing this rambling all year long. Since. You know. I’ve been celebrating the 80th birthday/year/thing of the caped crusader. Plus… hopefully… there’s going to be ONE last “#Batman80” rambling before the year’s over. So. Cool. Right?

Eitgher way, man. Ya’ll should know by now. This is, easily, the movie that IConsider to be the best of all time. And while it’s not a Christmas movie… by any stretch of the imagination… it DEFINITELY has a Christmasy spot in my heart. For reasons I once described in My Dark Knight Experience. That rambling’s been private since I did the first Drunken Diaries book. Consider it a bonus for 12DoDM, merhaps? But yeah man. This “Watching of” will be capping off the 12DoDM19. So. Uh. Yeah.

LFG!

1. Dude… the little… music beats. Thing.. the dun… duhduh DUNNN… opening up the movie with the WB logo. Ooof. man. So godo already.
2. I Really, REALKY miss this DC logo. The new one? DC in a circle? It’s so dumb.
3. Dude. The opening shot of the movie. Takes me bak. Immediately to December of 2007. Seeing the bank heist for the firsst time. I’m smiling too much. Almost about to tear up.
4. The clowns are killing each other off. So brilliant already.
5. WHAT BUS DRIVER?..!
6. tHEN. Boom dude. The first money shot.

   

7. Oof dude. The thing that made me loose my shit back in 2007. Joker put a smoke bomb in the dude’s mouth. I still love it. So much.
8. Michael C. Hall’s talk show thing. Something that played a part in the marketing of the movie. They had an interview with Harvey Dent and everything.
9. The… I dunno… Nick Furyi of The Dark KNight Trilogy… Cillian person… as Scarecrow. Shows up. Then the hockey pads weaerers show up too. One even gets Scarecrow gassesd. Murphy! That’ his last name.
10. Batman’s got some medal fucking gadget all of a suddent.
11. While it’s not anywhere near as iconic as the Elfman theme. TDKT‘s theme is still awesome.
12. “I’m not wering hockey pads!”
13. Then.. the conversation with Gordon… It becomes apparent… Bale’s DEMONIC and AMAZING Bat-voice from Btman Begins is gone from here on out.
    
    Yes. It’s been parodied to death at this point. But. Com on. There was NOTHING more bad ass than this shit back in 2005 and stuffs. Still. Just now rewatching that scene. The nearly 15 years of post-content aside…. It’s AMAZING. Ugh.
14. I’m sorry, dude. But Michael Caine is, easily, the best Alfred ever. By a mile.
15. What’s his name from BvS and Justice Leageue could’ve been awesome too. But. Who knows. (RANDOM SIDENOTE: Since I’m on the subject of castings and the failed DCEU, thing, I’d have loved to see more JK Simmons as Gordon too… but I mean.. it’s obviously awesome that he’s reprised the role he was born to play in the S/MCU as Jonah Jameson) Batflek decided he couldn’t be assed anymore because they decided to do reshoots of Justice LEague. So. Uh… Whatever. Rovert Pattinson is a thing now. (RANDOM SIDENOTE: For the record, I don’t think… I could be wrong.. but I don’t think I ever said ANYTHING  “BAD” about Robert Patinson’s acting ability. I mean… I’ve only ever watched the first Twilight movie… I think… And like… he was never the problem of them… The movies, the story, the everything was dumb about Twilight. All I’ve had to see was like the trailer of this Netclix movies…. I dunno what it’s called The King? Maybe? And I was like, “Whoa, that’ Robert Patinson being all French King person and such?” I dunno. I’m still at the court scene and I’m rambling FAR too much) So. We shall see and such.
16. Uh…
17. Harvey makes his own luck. Duh. Dude. I’m gona TRY to not ramble too much but like. Ugh. Man. I’ve said this 1000 times but. I was FRESH off of seeing the movie, Thank You For Smoking when I learned that Aaron Eckhart was going to play Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight. Jesus Christ. Dude. Like. This is. SERIOUSLY The best comic book moie casting ever. RDJ as Iron Man comes in as a close second. Hell.. maybe even first. But.
18. Yesh due…. this is gonna be the longest rambling evver. We’re like… an eighth of the way through this movie.
19. See dude… Gordon and Dent are having their conversation and stuffs. The Dark Knightisn’t a comic book moie. At all. It’s a crime drama with characters based in comic books.
20. And. Og course. “You either die a villain… or live long enough to see yourself in the sequel.” Or however the quote by Harvey gos.
21. So. Uh. Harvey would never win reelection if he’s running as a Democrat. In 2019.
22. Ooof. TONS MORE MONEY SHOTS ARE BOUT TO HAPPEN.
23. I mean. First. We get the first REAL appearance of Heath’s Joker. Off screen. “Ha ha ha, hoo, he ha,” et al!
24. Then. I mean. Magic Trick. Again. Something that’s been parodied to death.

    

25. I mean.
26. FFS. The Office parodied ME in 2008. Way before I knew they did.

    

27. But. Fuck you. FUck the parodies. THIS IS a huge money shot. I don’t give a fuck. It’s awesome. And amazing.
28. This is one of the biggest moneh shots of the movie and it’s awwesome and AMAZING. eLgit….

    

29. dDude. Tbs Russian mobster person. HE seems so familiar. Ugh
30. Then. Dude. Joker calls out Lao perosn. Obviously.
31. Kill Batman. Duh.
32. Joker’s got no idea what he’s doing. Heath’s playing it brilliantly. You know. In this TDKT universe that Nolan and Co. created. Which opens up a huge wormhole of possibilities. Dude. We’ve got NO idea who thi guy is. WB/Todd Phillips/whoever… just decided. “You know what sounds cool? Let’s have Joker happen. As a character. Before Batman was even prepubecsant and stuffs. That’s sounds like a legit lauching point of something awesome!” “Yeah dude! Let’s have Joker be somebody that doesn’t make anysence. And stuffs. I mean… we’re gonna make a Joker origin movie, right, and like… the DCEU, thing that Zcck Snyder created needs to be expundged fro humanity and such. So… instead of anyting sensibvle… let’s go with some random, 80’s-pre-Batman-Joker thing to be a launch point. Or something? I dunno. We’re Warner Bros. fuck you!”
33. Basically… I was trying to say that, no I haven’t sen Joker. And. I mean. I want to and stuffs. And I’m POSITIVE Jauwing Phoenix does FANTATIC. It’s just… Like.. nothing about this movie ever sat rightg with me. eVER. But hey! Apparently, I’m not a Batman expert. And… some how.. Joker can/DOES exist in a world without Batman… somehow. So… Uh…
    
34. “You think you can steal from us and just walk away?”
    “Yeah.” Heath’s delivery is so brilliang. Ugh.
35. Oof. THE most iconc scene from my perspecive happens. Harvey. Gordon. Batman. Meet atop of MCU an stuffs.

    

36. Joker called it. Btmn has no juristiction. And “We need Lao back.”
37. Luicious creates the would be Snowden thing. For Batman.
38. Should do fine against Cats, of course.
39. Oof dude. Atop of everything else. This is shuch a Christopher Nolan movie. And it kinda shows. I mean. That’s not  BAD thing. But it’s noticeable now. In 2019.
40. And. WE get the first Joker scars stry. Harry kinda spoiled this for me. Because he was a piece of shit cool dude.  Either way. Still ove it. “Let’s put a smile on that face!”  Oof. “Why so serious” becomes a thing. Obviously. And like. I dunno. When “Why so serious” first became a thing in like 2006/2007 or so… I always hoped it was a line to Batman. Right? Oh wells. I won’t ramble this time. Even though. I already have.
41. A simple phone call would’ve suffivved.
42. Chinese s’curity guards are so dumb.
43. FFS. How did I… JUST NOW… get the “like a submarine, Mr. Wayne,” jidden joke thing? Ooof. I suck. KMS confirmed.
44. Fuck the Chinese. Obviously.
45. I mean. The whole China sequence was awessome. Obviously. But like. Yeah. Stuffs a things about Lao.
46. oof dude. The Brin Douglas hanging, dead, jump scare got me. Jusst now. lol Igt’s cool.
47. Ugh mn. The Joer found footage is so good.
48. And we’re heading into an even better amount of aawesomeness.
49. With the whole fundraiser and all of the awesomeness.
50. I believe in Hrvey Dent. Right now. In 2k19. Forreals.
51. OK. Alright. How’d Joker get the DNA of all of his targets and stuffs? That’s dumb.
52. I mean… this whole sequene is awesome… the cops getting the Joker targets.. Loeb… judge person.. it all leads to oker attacking the party… It’s all so great. Forreals.
53. Dude. I just played thoug some shit in the PS4 Spider-Man game… pretty sure it was the DLCwhere like… “Charles” from RDR2.. the boice actor anyways… he’s playing a character in the game that’s like, “We’re tonight’s entertainment.” And like…
54. Michael Caine, himself, said muktiple times that Heath’s portrayal of the Joker frightened him. Right?

    

55. And… we get… Lehy making his secong… or is it third… Bt-appearance.
56. But… We get another Scars story. Of course.
57. There’s a rambling in here about the Gyllenhaal siblings I should mentiojn. But i won’t. And like… how Nolan and co. consiered Jake as Batman for a while. But yeah. I won’t.
58. Batman Joker. Fight. Firt time.Cool.
59. “Very poor choice of words.”
60. Some men. Just want to watch the world burn. Like Bladimir Putin. Or. Like. Adam Shift. And such.
61. And like. There’s Rihard Dent and Frederick Harvey dead here. And we’re about to go into something that Dusty Shull and people like him still… gto this day..  try to say…
    

    OMG! TDKT NEVER SHOWED BATMAN AS A DETECTIVE! EWWW! FUCK CHRISTOPHER NOLAN!

62. Bitch. THis scene. The gunshots… DETECTIVENESS scene. Is the loudest part of the whole movie. The fuck are you on about that Batman does no detecting. It’s so dumb.
63. Giod luck, Mr. Reece. Person.
64. Obviously.
65. Boom. Bitch. Batman detects. The full recreation of the bullet used to kill a mofo. You dumb bitch, Dusty.
66. Now. Here we are. Joker. No makeup happened. Loeb’s funeral parade thing.
67. Gordon dies.
68. And then we see Batman fight random goons t the club. And. I mean. Yeah. In 2019. Post-BvS a Batman combat scene should and, obviously could look better.
69. But oof. Harvey threatening to kill this dudee with the coin flip is so fucking awesome. Ugh. I love it.
70. Yeah. The worst part of the movie is the fact that Nolan and Co. created Rachel Dawes. Although, she’s still cool cause like… The Harvey situation. And stuffs. and it’s dumb. Fuck her.
71. Oof.. a rambling about “Batman mvoies” and like TDKT needs to be had here. About quitting. And like Rises and stfuffs. I just thought about it.
72. And here we go. Just like Joker said when I started this movie and stuffs. On DVD. This shitty full screen version I got on Chritmas in 2008ll That I’m watching now. In 2019. Blah.
73. The whole Car.. nesss… sequence. Ooof dude. It’s all so fun. Joker’s trying to kill Havey… Batman whatever. Either way. It’s all so fun and awesome.
74. And. Then. Boom. Money shot. Chris No. and Co. PHYSICALLY (ugh… there’s a kovie term for it that I can’t think of the only thing I’m coming up with is “proactive…” lol) flip a semi truck. On camera. It’s not as much of a money shot as this though…

    

75. I mean. I’m poaitive thaat I’ve rambled about how Joker is just some dude that wants to kill himself. THIS Joker, anyways. And I mean. THE Joker too… in many repects. But… I mean… the dude wants to go out in grand fashion. Stuffs. Things. Words.
76. This whole sequence… from the initrial “car chase” aspect… to Joker exiting the semi and shooting off a couple rounds from his AKness… or… as it’s known in the MSM an AR… to the “hit me,” to Batman crashing… to the… ugh… random, dmb Gordon reveal… it’s all so awesome. Minus the whole fake Gordon death. Yes. There. I found something dumb about th movine. Congrats.
77. Either way…. all of that shit was fun.
78. And then. Boom. The best. Most iconic piece of the movie. The interrogation.

79. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.

80. Truer words have never been spoken.
81. Batman punching the face off of Heath Ledger… but nothing happening… is so awesome. Ugh.
82. And… to be honest… dude. This is, easily, the best origin of Two-Face. Forreals. Like. In the comics and shit? H’d always get acis thrown in is face. But like… why the fuck is the whole rest of ihis body scarred and shit? Righgt?
83. Heath Joker being awesome back at MCU. “I knew your friends better than you ever did.” And such. Oof. So good.
84. Ugh dude. I’m tearing up. “Why are you coming for me” and shit.
85. BTAS had the next best Two-Face origin. Cause. Like it’s imilar.
86. Batman finds the needle in the haystack that is Harvey’s coing. The replica of which I have. And. It was a part of this here DVD from 2008 that I’m watching.
87. Someting about how merhaps Joker PURPOSELY mixed up the addresses or he didn’t do it purposely. A great debagte that’ll nevver be known. Unless Nolan answers it.
88. “We burned the forest down!”
89. Oof dude. I’mm tearing up at the first sight of Two-face.
90. It’s so beautiful and awesome.
91. “This town deserves a btter class of criminsal” and I’m gonna give it to ’em!”
92. Damn it, dude. Mr. Reece would’ve been a great Riddler cameo in The Dark Knight Rises.
93. Joker meets Harvey. Still so brilliant.

    

94. “I’m an agent of chaos.”
95. Something about omproving the hospital explosion.
96. Sorry mom. Sorry. God. But like. This movie’s not over yet.
97. Then like. Lucious Fox finds out that he has the NSA at his fingertips. And he realizes it’s wrong.
98. Dent’s half dead.
99. Ugh. I’m loving this so God amn much.
100. The boats are intoduced. And. We’re introduced to the game Joker’s playing with them.
101. Joker wants to play a game.

     

102. CLOWNS ARE HOSTAGES!
103. OK… this movie has some flaws. I’ll explain them. Some day. But even with them… it’s still the best moive ever. Obviously.
104. Deebow saves the day. And throws the detonator out of the window. Meanwhile. In the hall of the other ferry… some balding skinhead is about to blow up the prisoner’s ferry. Because the white patriarchy. Ugh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
105. Batman and Joker are destined to o this forever.
106. And here. THIS is the part where Bale as Batman is put into question for me. tHIS WHOLE EXCHANGE is shitty, frim “YOULL BE IN A PADDED CELL FOREVER!” Onwards. Ugh. He’s bad here.
107. Ledger is brilliant though. Perect. Even. Of course.
108. Madness, as you know is a little like gravity. All it takes is a little push.
109. After those words…. nephews and such would lose COMPLETE interest in the movie… But man. This is the best part. Ugh.
110. The final act of Two-Face.
111. FAIR.
112. Ugh man. I love Two-Face. Too damn much.
113. You don’t have to thank me.
114. I neglected to mention it. But its awesome that this was the first time we saw Batman’s eyes glowing white.
115. Gotham needs its true hero.
116. Batman. As we know.
117. We have to chase him.
118. He’s the hero Gotham deserves.
119. But not the one it needs right now.
120. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian a watchful protector. A dark knight.

I mean. Overall? The movie 5 pencil magic tricks out of 5. Obviously.

Dude. THere’s so much to rample about about the movie. Bit I can’t. And I won’t. And. I mean. I probably already did. But like… there’s so much more I could add to it at the moment. But. Oh wells.

Ths movie deserves so much better. As does this rambling. I suck too much. Sorry about that.