The Nerdiest Rambling Ever: My E-Wrestling Story Pt. 3

Promotional consideration provided by THE eW Spot and The Shoot.

REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING

“We are pleased to make the announcement that SHOW beat PCW in the ratings this week!”

I swear, I tried to dumb that down to my writing level to when I was 13. I mean serisly. WHo could forget this excerpt frp, tje “SHOWRuleboook” circa 2001-2002?

Please do not get an attitude with the staff because that could result in you getting fired the first time you do. If you have a problem please discuss it with us like a man. But if we do not like it than we are sorry, there’s nothing you can do.

Reall, I have no idea who wrote that. But it was probably me. Or maybe Bill(y_ wroteit and I edited it. I don’t know. Whatever.

We beat PCW in the ratings that week. And actually, I know I said this in the previous rambling in the serious. But this is whe n PCW raped our fan board. And sigh. You have no idea how much I hate archive.org right now. I used to be able to find our fanboard back them. BNut it’s not there now. But whatever.

Im’ pretty much positive it was this week that PCW raped our fan board and shit. So yeah. Buth hen we and acutally I’m prettyu pisitive it was Bilkl(y) whith me sitting next to him, the Phantom Booker, Ron, himself IM’ed us. And he was all like, “If you want to compete against PCW you hve to join PTC.” Or some lame shit like that. And he made some kind of lame threat. or something. And we eventuallty took down that sentence (about ratings) from the front page news thing.

Thus we get to around mid-Novenber of 2001, and we start doing this

“SHOWMan (no typo thoere_) of 2002 (or here)” tournament. This is around the time of fWo’s second “season” of Survivor. And they’;re putting X’s in front of posers’s faces when people have been iliminated. So I make a splah image of peoples that have been eliminated from the tuounsment. And I X-out the poples faces and shit. And like… people bitched that SHOW was nothing but a rip-off of fwo survivor. REALLT?!

Whatever.

What I’m going to do right now is summarize the first run o SHOWREStling huysrt to be COMPLETYELY done with all of this.

You see, Bill*y) abd I reacged iyt to a BUNCH of the “big nmed” eWrestlers KVC, GV, BLI, and even RD (if you know what “RD” stands for… you’re fuucking awesome) but there was one that saw SHOWerestling as being awesome. And amazinf as it was. Or wasn’t. And his named was “Bob Sugar.” he handld The Don in CWL. And at that point, he was also in the fed that we nutted all over, jOlt.

He agreed to join SHOW. But he wanted to tell a specific story. Something like that. He wanted SHOW to build up a “Ric Flair” before they signed a “Hulk Hogan.” So, we did. We built up Morpheus. Morpheus followed us from EWO to SHOW. And he was a dan good due. but because of the switch frm “angle” to “rp” most of the EWO guys had lost interest. Or something. And… kinda James (Morpheus’ handler) did too. But he was still around. Thus… Morpheus was the SHOWorld champion.

And on Dec. 31, 2001, Morpheus became the SHOWMan of 2002 at the SHOCK PPV eventy. Then… The Don showed up and smashed the trophey he won over is head.

But “Mr. Sugar” was so mart. At the same time, he won te jOlt World title and became the preseident of jOlt or something. In character. Thar mfof made a BUNCH of news for himself on ONE day. That NO ONE remembers except for me. And Bill(y) (well… maybe Billy does, who knows?).

Thus, SHOW had some more sort of name recognition to it. I don’t know. But yeah. The Don joined SHOW. And the first time he faced Morpheus, he lost. JUST to build this “monster” SHOW had created.

But yeah. On that same event, SHOCK, there were a ton of debuts. The most of

which that I can recall (for… obvious reasons) was Uncensored. A character Bill(y) and I came up with aftert having been inspired byu the video of Neo on CWL. Neo was on about the fan board. And he used a LOT of explitives. Bill(y) and I wanted to create a cgharacter to fill the void of my previous Har])core Game character that could swear a lot and create conteroversy. And… well… it became Uncensored. handled by me.

But WAITAMINUTE (I know I’m being a TERRIBLE narrator here_), on Dec. 31 2001, FedWars came back. Bill(y) and I had learned of this and IMMEDIATELY signed SHOW up to the “interfed.” The only other fed that I remember was an IMMEDIATE sign up was “CWF,” which was run by Ed Wilson’s cousin *cough*DavidTyrell*cough* and he wanted to carry on CWL’s legacy. Or something. Bill(y) and I went on a walk to the Diamond Shamrock to get us some 2 liter sodas. And shit. and we were fucking stokes.

But… whatever.

Somewheres in there… POCW held a show in China. It was only naturll for use to make fun of them. Thus, SHOW had Uncensored follow them. Uncensored “attended the show,” and poked fun at those in attendence. he poked fun at signs held. And, for sure, he called some Chinese kid a “chink.”

Ron got wind of this. he threatened me directly. Although, at the time, uncensored was handled by some duded named, “Josh.”

Ron threatened that he was going to call ClanPages (who we had bought hostring from at the time)and threatened to warn them of the OVBOUS racism hardbored by us. Or something. I told him that some random writer had written it and I would resolve the issue. But you know. In a MORE 13-year-old manner.  Thus, the segment got deleted and the “writer” was “fired.

But anyways…

Bill(y) and I began holding “SHOW RadioSHOWs on the onld “Fancast.” It was an every week thing. and since you had to pay and shit, we would make new accounts. Whatever. But yeah. We made some AWESOME soundbyte things. I WISH I could do them to this day. And since we hated PCW and PTC we took shots at them on the show.

“People always ask us, ‘What do we think of the PTC Malice radio show?

‘That is one big pile of shit!’ (from Jurassic Park)

“You are listening to The SHOWRadio SHOW LIVE!”

That was the basic plot of prettuy much all of the soundbytes. Bit yeah.

We do some shit in SHOW. The Don eventually wins the SHOWorld Championship.

SHOW closes. because. Well, Bill(y) had a girlfriend. And he liked sex too much. And I was like, “Fuck this, I don’t want to run a fed on my own.” So we closed SHOW. but we couldn’t do it in an orginary fashion We put on the index page, something like, “HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU SHOW! WE HAVE THE LAST LAUGHT PTC IS ME AND SHOW SUCKS!”

oR Something like that. Who knows? but yeah. We “hacked” ourselves. And tried to blame PTC. but no one cared.

I was involwd with tFZ with my new character, Uncensored, but that time had just about come and gone.

And somehowe. And FORREALS. Ask Halkum this. I have NO IDEA how… but I gained control of the FedWars.org domain name. To my recolection, I just owned the domain. Some dude, named Dave… something. And he was known “in character” as… “Big…” something (I don’t remember I only remember that I used his handle and then he threatened to sue me because I used it… and it was “Big” something…) ran it. So basically… I owned the fedwars.org domain. Dave dude ran it.

Dave ran a few Fedwars radio shows on the old Fancast. Whilst PTC kept holding their “Malice” shows.

One week, Fedwars (NOTE: Dave) paid enough money to have a Fedwars banner at the bottom of the Fancast “eWrestling” radio shows. A feat done previously only by PTC/Ron/PCW/Whatever. FedwWars just finished a radio show, and the PTC/PCW/Ron/Whoever was going to go on live next.

For… whatever reason… Ron himself was hosting the show. Usually, it was done by “Duke Williams.” Whoewver he was.

Ron said upon the start of his show… and this is PRETTY MUCH word-for-word, “What? There’s a FedWars banner? Umm… no. There will not be a PTC Malice this week.”

And the show ended. I heard the closing of that show, and I IMMEDIATELY went to my friend Dave (not to be confused with the guy running FedWars… this Dave hanvled the character Nik BanCore in SHOW and stuffs) and I pretty much said, “Dude, We’ve GOTY to make fun of this.”

And I made the Fancast account, “DukedWilliams.”

And the PTC Mal-Ass was underway.

Me, being the aewesome voice actor that I TRULY am did a SPOT ON impression of Ron. Dave played former PCW wrestler Kid Wonder (who, apparently sounded like a gay guy in real life, I don’t really know, but Dave does). I “brought on” the caller of Duke Williams onto the show, and I just screamed into the microphone incoherently. Dave brought on “Ron’s parents.” And… I don’t know.

I dod remember that… SOMEHOW… I knew that the other Dave, the lame, FedWars dave (DAVE WRESTLING… AMIRIGHT?!) tried to call in… I don’t know how I knew it was him that tried calling in. But every time he tried, I made the excuse as “Ron” that “We’ve got a FDedWars caller calling in but I won’t bring him on.”

basicallyt… this is THE highlyight of my eW life. EVERY “accomplishment” I may or may not have fulfilled throughout my eW career… this was THE biggest moment, from memory, that I have. Forreals. Best. eW. Night. Of. My. Life. the. End.

Some how… the other, lame, FedWars, Dave and I have a falling out. Thus, I made FedWars.org NOTHING but that “splash image” as shown above.

Honestly, I remember that during WHATEVER conversation I had known of during the PTC Mal-Ass that FDave was trying to “make peace” with PTC. I remember that clearl.y I remember he tried to do this no matter what.

But… being the teenager seeing 8Mile and, general, Eminem, type of theologies on life that I had… I couldn’t take it.

An… well… for the next year or so… I really didn’t do anying in eW.

Until I participated in an AIM chat with three others.

And the term “eW Mob” was born.