The Nerdiest Rambling Ever: My E-Wrestling Story — THAT’S IT! THE FUCKING END! Version

REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING

So like…

If you're normal, you can stop reading anything further in this rambling.
If you’re normal, you can stop reading anything further in this rambling.

The hwole IDEA of this final rambling in “My e-Wrestling Story” is just to make like… clarifications and to touch on things that I didn’t mention or fucked up in the seven part series. And stuffs.

So. Let me start here:

Hardcore Game.

Hardcore Game was the “character” (if you can call it that) that I called myself when Bill(y) and friends and stuffs would BYW. I think I used two other names before. One was SERIOUSLY out of the Butters playbook. If you saw South Park’s “wrestling” episode. And you know the character Butters first comes up with, you know what I’m on about.

But yeah. Hardcore Ga,e. he was the girst character I handled in eW. And he lasted over a year. I mean. When you hear “Hardcore Game,” the first thing you hear is, “Hardcore Holly mixed with Triple H,” right? (Either that or Dusty Shull. Think on it. You’ll get that joke.) Well. Someone once used this against me. And I fucked him on itl. Apparently. I won the match anyways.

There’s lots to cover. Beginning with this lame ass character of mine.

Umm… Hardcore Game… Let’s see. The biggest thing I can to think of about him is that like… he fueded with Smoke. That’s his biggest noterietys. Exepect. Well.. I’ll go into the exception later. But yeah. He feuded with Smoke.

And this ties into EWO. And AWF and ECWF and like… shit. I dunno.

But like. I had this idea for a match. And WHOA.. WHOA… CALM THE FUCK DOWN THERE.

One of the VERY first “hardcore matches” that I came up with? The prison match. And it became GHardcore Game’s specialty. For a visual. Think: Al Snow vs. Boss Man Kenelness. Only. Betweem the cell and the cage is bargedwire, on the top of the first cage is barbedwire, and the top of the cell is made of barbedwire except for a whole in the midde of it. You gotta escape the prison by going through all of that barbedwire. And shit.

But anwyas. I came up wit htis idea of a “Locked Heart” cage match. Smoke kidnapped Hardcore hame’s wife. right? And… you do the WCW Triple Cage thing, right? In the top cage, the wife was locked. You climb to the top of it, grab a key hangning and shit, and you retrieve the wife. Shit like that.

I believe, I did this match whilst EWO was doing the whole “INVASION~!” shit with XWCWF (which was the fed that Smoke and Nightmare [who was the owner of both AWF and ECWF {the first e-feds I joined}] met each toehr in and therefore, I met them and stuffs). But whatever. Yeah. In the summer of 2001. EWO did a “OMG~! FED VS. FED” thing. And yeah. I dunno. Whatever. I know that Hardcore Game lost the EWO world title to Mad Dogg. And shit. Whatever.

Sometime in the fall of 201 I meat his dude, through Bill(y). His aim handle was “b3nh4lkum” (maybe I fucked that up, I dunno). And like. I join his, apparentlyy, returning UTA fed. Maybe, I did this while SHOW was going on? If not it was definitely JUST before SHOW opened. I dunno. But yeah. I met that dude. andd Stuffs. And… Ben and I have been friends (off and on, I’m sure you could say) ever since.

For some reason, in the summer of 2001, we brought XBW vack. I don’t know why. Or how. Or anything. But I know it happened because I had brought my cousin, Kyle, into eW and stuffs. And I vivstid Minnesota and shit. And he came to the family reunion and was all like, “Guess whos’ the new President of CXBW?!” All happy and shit. Or something. Whatever. The only ting that I cn think of is we brought it backto be a feeder gfed for EWO. I funno. Whatever.

Now. Gere comes the good shit.

First, I gotta clarify something form, I believe it was Part 3, I said  that peoples that followed us  from EWO to SHOW had trouble switching from Angle to RP based fed. And stuffs. But yeah. That should be reversed. EWO was RP based. SHOW was angle based. They had trouble converting. And stuffs.

Let’s see…

All the way on the right... you'll, randomly, find Uncensored in the current Fedwars.co... whatever it is.
All the way on the right… you’ll, randomly, find Uncensored in the current Fedwars.co… whatever it is.

i believe it was Part 4 where I first mentioned the character Uncensored. Firstly, let me make this clarification. I said something along the liens of “uncensored was handled by ‘Josh.'” “Josh” was a handler I made up. “He” handled both Uncensored and Lunatic during the first SHOW run because… Bill(y) and I didn’t want people to know that we handled peoples in SHOW. And stuffs. When I wrote it in the series, it didn’t make much sense. So yeah. I was handling “Josh,” Handling Uncensored andLunatic. And stuffs. And probably… “Josh” handled SILeNT too, I dunno. Whatever.

Uncensored. Bitch.
Uncensored. Bitch.

Uncensored… eh… really… the best thing he did in his formitive months in the first run og SHOW… really.. it spun from the SHOWRadio SHOWs. Dave (the handler of nVc… yu know.. the awesome Dave) and “Josh” would go at i on the shwo.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: I have NO idea how nobodyt cought on to how “Johs” and myself didn’t talk at the same time during the radio shows. But whatever.

Biut yeah. Uncensored talked shit to Nik VanCore and carl Ca#h. And shit. And it spun into feuds in the fed. And stuffs. whatever.

But. Yeah. I brought my cousin, Kyle into eW for a bi.t he handled Original Sprere. As the story goes, he was eating himself some of ths e bite sized candies whilst making his character. And stuffs. Whatever. But yeah. I guess Hardcore Game and Spree were also cousins. And shit. And like… in SHOW… I did… I think it was a 3-part “RP” series thing where HArdcore Game killed himself. Kyle ran with this and did some RP’s where he befriended Game’s wife and stuffs. I dunno. I thought it was cool.

I could go into more details about the angles going on in SHOW’s first run. But meh. This rambling is long enough already. And it’s supposed to cover EVERYTHING.

So I’ll skip ALL the way until SHOW closed the first time.

That was a joke. And stuffs.

Umm…

The Fighting Zone.
The Fighting Zone.

TFZ. I mentioned this in the series. but… Seriously. I can’t stress this enough. This is where I found myself as a writer. I did this RP series. I should remember what it was called. But I don’t. I believe it was a three-parter. But yeah. Uncensored died. But was brought back to life after talking to God. And shit. it sounds terrible (and it more than likely… it probably was… especially wohen you consider that I was 13 at the time) but I remember it as being the best RP series I’ve EER did. Whatever.

But yeah. I made SUCH an “impact” in TFZ that right away, I was one of the best they had. And stuffs. And I got paired with Keegan to run a story.

And basicaly. I just followed Keeg’s lead. John C. Willis was the TFZ Malke’s Champion after defeating his brouther, Keegan. Uncensored was to be his next challenger. And… with what was the best written match/fight I had ever been involved with.. John C. Willis defeated Uncensored. After like… Willis had Uncensored’s wife raped. And…. well… there was other shit. But that’s the one that I remember. Wahtever. Lke always. I guess.

Easily. Best "e-fed" I've been involved with as a handler.
Easily. Best “e-fed” I’ve been involved with as a handler.

My time in TFS was COMPL:ETELY awesome. I could NEVER discredit it. And. AGAIN. It is where I TRULY found mysel f as a writer. These “typo filled” ramblings excluded. And. Yeah.

The only other note that I made for this rambling (if you “like” Ryan’s Drunken Ramblings on Facebook… you’ll know that I mentioned that I actually made notes for a rambling. This is that rambling) is that I should talk a bit more eWMob.

And… I know…

I left LOTS about the eWMob out.

But reallt… the only thing I can thinkg of to say tht is of ANY sort of value is…

The eWMob, at its GREATEST hieghts was like… 20 memebers. At the most. And like. I could NEVR think of who all of tem were.

But really. I just found this shit.

Go to archive.org.

And search “thefz.com”

And… Jesus Christ. Is it a good time.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: Yes. All of the “TFZ” images were found just before I started typing this bit and shit. So…

Maybe… I’m just drunkenly passing this off.

But really. I’m transfixed. And. Even though the facts are in front of me, I’m NOT going to fix/edit what I had already drunkenly written. I haces an integrity to Ryan’s Drunken Ramblings to hold up to peoples! Fuck you.

But yeah.

MORE THAND LIKELY… there’s more I should say.

But at over 1500 words, currently, I’ve said WAY too much as is. So. Yeah.

EWSCENE.COM MOFO~!

RANDOM SIDENOTE: WHAT THE CUNT?! I had Kyle join TFZ? Forreals?!

Whatever. Bye.

THE FUCKING END.

For now.

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