The State of the Wrestling Address. 2024.

On this day. I see clearly.

But I don’t. At all. tbf. I just wanted to start this off by saying something akin to… like… could you just imagine if when Hogan came to WCW in 1994 (not that I lived this life, because I didn’t). His entrance musica was” Real American?” Or like. After Montreal, Bret came to WCW with that i-fucking-conic theme music?

Jeff Jarrett coming back to WCW in 1999 and eventually having something like “Cowboy” by Kid Rock was awesome. Sure. But Jim Johnson’s thteme is just as (after experiencing both JUST NOW, Johnson’s theme is MORE) awesome, honestly. Imagine for a moment. Vader went back to WCW after he was a, “fat piece of shit,” (video sucks balls, sorry, only one I could find) but brought with him Jim Johnson’s theme? How awesome could that life jave beeen?

You little cunts that didn’t live in the attitude era have it too good right now.

Cody Rhodes goes to WWE with “The Kingdom.” The Hardy Boyz (*it’s still 2000 to me damn it) come to AEW with their WWF/WWE theme song. Jeff Jarrett comes to AEW with “My World.” Edge goes to AEW with “Metalingus.” RVD shows up in AEW every now and again with “Walk,” which, OK, that;s… you know… whatever. But still. Iconic theme song.

Like. A;; of this shit alone is fucking insane. Lemme tell you.

ALL OF THE RANDOM SIDENOTES AS QUICK AS I CAN MAKE THEM:

1. Going down this theme song rabbit hole made me want to relive the moment seen up there when I heard the song “Enter Sandman” by Metallica for the first time in my life. And I was going to dedicate the sidenote to only this. But. Details, details. Shut up.
2. Then I got to thinking, Sandman’s return… was that the first ECW show I ever watched?
3. I’ve remembered for my entire life that the first ECW show I ever watched had New Jack challenging Mike Awesome for the ECW title. On TNN.
4. I do a bit of research. Google. You know. Apparently, Sandman’s return was the second ECW show I ever watched. But I just wanted to confirm that the Awesome/Jack match happened the week before.
5. I use cagematch.net for the… thirdish time in my life (five times, tops, I’m not TonyFlair).
6. I find out that Mike Awesome’s last ever professional wrestling match was ECW: One Night Stand in 2005.
7. My heart shatters.

On top of ALL OF THAT theme music-y awesomeness… Ya’ll (and those of us that have been around and stuck aroundish forever) are living through the greatest wrestling wrestling storyline that I know of. Cuyrrently. Right now.

A;so. TonyFlair has got a major announcement that a major major Mercedes is going to drive through the Boston TD Garden with 5,000 seats sold (I hope I’m wrtong). So that Mercedes Mone can get a women’s title match at AEW’s PPV after Revolution. Then she’ll just join the reformed outcasts or something. TonyFlair isn’t going to care about her after whatever that next PPV is. Just ask Britt Baker. But hey. Again. I hope I’m wrong.

RANDOM-ish SIDENOTE: dFFS, I know wanna say I know for a fact that TonyFlair used to hang out on EWP back in the day, especially since he named a PPV “Revolution.” Only thing that would make it obvious that he did e-feds would be if he had a PPV called “Genesis.” Waitaminute…

OMFG. Sting. THE reason I feell in love with wrestling. Is going to have his last ever match on a show an e-fedder titled, Revolution.

I want AEW to succeed so damn badly. I still stand by my statement that All Out 2021 is, thus far, the best wrestling PPV I’ve watched since WrestleMania X-Seven. I’ll concede that AEW has probably had even better shows since then. I haven’t seen them. But it’s entirely possible that they have. Unfortunately, more and more, TonyFlair is proving Eric Bischoff’s right. They have no stories. TonyFlair is booking for Dave Meltzer. He’s booking “dream matches” for Dave Meltzer to ejaculate five-to-seven stars on.

“There’s so much history between Bryan Danielson and Takuya Nomura! Just watch the match, you’re going to care about it!”

No dude. Shut up. Make me care. Don’t just tell me I need to care.

Don’t just ejaculate a new championship every time you make a major announcement or every time you make a mjaor championship to make a major announcement or make a touirnament for a major announcement for a major new champuionship fpr a new eliminator battle royual that’s going to be the dreamiest dream matc to ever been dreamt.

Just. Ugh. Bro. Tony. FFS.

Unlike Erica Bischoff, you ACTUALLY have billions of dollars at your disposal.

You’re making the same mistakes he did. He calls you out. You call him, and tell your wrestlers to spew that he’s nothing but a bankrupt jealous person… Bro… dude’s lived it. Take advice. It’s not THAT hard. You existed on the same forums I did. But. Your skin is WATY too FGod damn thin my dude.

Not only are you making the same mistakes Eric did. But you’re compound, fuck. DOUBLING DOWN ON the mistakes…

If not tripling down, dude. FFS. You’re going to lose the WBD deal. You’ve got to course correct. Fast. Dave Meltzer has never put on a weekly televised show of any kind in his life. His opinion doesn’t matter.

More and more. It seems like TonyFlair is just proving that Trips is going to end up being right. He’s going to end up buying this piss-ant company of yours.

Waitaminute…

“Him.”

A couple of hours ago, when I started writing all of this. Thought about writing it. Asking Spravle which thing I should write. Stuffs. I told myself I wouldn’t make this joke. It’s too easy. It’s lazy. But uh. Now that I think on it. Given the horns and such, merhaps this isn’t too terrible? Yet still funy?

Words. Words. Words. Words. Words. Words. Words. Words. Words.

But also.

None percent words.

Groos. Horrifying. Hope nothing like it happens again.

If it’s true. Innocent until proven guilty. All of that. Alleged. Stuffs.

From every perspective. This situation sucks. All-round.

There’s so many victims that this man created. Just by doing the things that were alleged to happen in the lawsuit. First and foremost is the woman that brought it forward, yes. Goes without saying. But like. His grandchildren. You know? They have to go to school after the lawsuit came out. He did that to them. Alegedly.

At the end of the day.

I hope that the deserved conclusion comes to pass. Whatever conclusion that is 1000% justified. It needs to happen. The end. No other words need to be said.

And then my dudes. There’s this.

And. I mean. I think this very well might be the best storyline in professional wrestling. Ever. The best that I’ve ever experienced at the very least.

Since I didn’t live this life as it happened, I’d imagine that the moment up there and the…

…this moment that followed.

It’s GOT to be akin to what it felt like seeing Hall show up on Nitro. Nash following suit. Hall and Nash hopping over the guardrail with security surounding the ring and cops being at the ready to draw their firearms… you know.,.. some time after Hall had said before that, “You know who,” sent them. At the very least. What I felt while watching this WrestleMania Kickoff thing had to be akin to watching Kevin Nash “lawn dart” Rey Mysterio Jr. into the side of a “production truck” (which was more like… a locker room, thing but,… it’s a trailer that could be attached to a truck. Like… semi-truck. Whatavery) back when you’d never see a backstage brawl on national television.

This Rock/Roman/Cody storyline. Whatever it was initially going to be. Whatever it is going to end up being. This whole situation is the most captivating story in professional wrestling. It’s the perfect. PERFECT. Mix of reality/wrestling politics/intrigue/whatever you wanna call it and kayfave/script/you know… at the end of the day, we’re just watching a HIGHLY athletic movie.

Top to bottom.

This is the best that I’ve seen. Experienced. Everything.

Keep in mind. I’ve never really been a fan of Cody Rhodes. Ever. Honestly, him losing to Roman last year was the catalyst to bringing me around. Well, the match in general anyways. Not the fact that he lost. Whatavery.

It’d be awesome if Cody Rhodes beat Roman Reigns and took the proverbial torch. Rightfully so. It’d also be awesome to see The Rock vs. Roman Reigns. Who sits at the proverbial head of the table? I’m down, dude. I am, however, none percent instrested in a triple threat or tag team match.

I’ve got no idea where this is headed (I haven’t seent the February 9th SmackDown yet, so.. whoops, merhaps). And I can’t wait to find out.

We just need everything to be sorted out. Before that happens, I’m just going to keep in mind…