REMINDER: Iâ€™M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE Iâ€™M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING
Let’s get something straight first. As much of a classic as the 1966 animated shote “movie” thing may be. I’ll easily admit. I have NO afinity towards… ANY of this “Dr. Sues” lure. “Grinch.” Things. Stuffs. Nothing. None. At all. I promise. I have nothing against it. I just… haven’t cared about it.
Much like my feelings about Star Wars.
But. be that as it may.
This ios, an, apparently aborttion to the “Christmas” community.
The live- action… Dr. Suess’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
And… I’m watching it. In its entirety foir the VERY first time. Buckle up? Maybe?
- Something about mountains. Inhabitted by fans of Dr. Who?
- There’s a Will Farrell character. Not played by Will Farrell.
- And it’s his voice that spews through most of this first part of Whovians.
- NSDA? Maybe?
- The Grinch’s lair plays the part of the Batcave. Circa 1995.
- And Jim Carrey in his VCERT first ppearance shows to be more divberse in his activing skills than he did during the ENTIRETY as his turn as Edward Nigma.
- No one quite knows the reason why Grinch hates Chr8istmas? Perhaps I’ll shed some light on the poissibilitywsa. On You knowq. Harms’ Way on rthw 23d.
- Why do the Whovians have Lady Gaga hairstyles?
- Probably something about Dr. Sues. Probably.
- Something about commercialism. Messages. Maybe. Hopefully?
- Grrinch is a Whovian that sdoesn’t knowqtrhe difference between David Tennant and that one guy.
- SDo. The Grinch does his best… NES boss impression. Something aBOUtr hiding in the corners. Innit?
- Thern. The Grinch saves that EWhobian. Like is name is Ocelot~! Or something.
- Cindy[‘s asking the same questions the Cindy from Scary Movie‘s on abouty? AMIRITE?! UP TOP!
- Molly Shannon sdoes her best “relevant” performance. It’s as if she’s trying to pprotray a “relevant” Molly Shannon in 2015. But. You know. 15 years earlier.
- A fucking “refriferator’s running, prank call” joke. In the year 2000. This comes after Nickelodean’s All That tried to make the joke relevant in 1995. Or so.
- Then. Ramdom. Muscial. Song.
- DRAMA~! THINGS~! JUST…
- Something about a Disco? Mauybe? I have no idea what’s happening right now.;
- I’m pretty sure that Dr. Suess’ How the Grinch Srtole Christmas just advocated a pro-life stance. Like. I’m pretty GOD DAMN POSITIVE that that just happened. Right now. Something about Martha.\
- BUT UH OH~! WHOVIANS ARE…. *GASP* capitalists?!
- Gifts? GRINCH IS LEFT OUT?! I’ll leave the metaphor to the President and his wife. Wait. What?
- Somethig about hating Christmas. Becausde. Reasons. At this
point. Or… you know….
- Molly Shannon’s still doing her Molly Shannon impression.
- Grinh is such a outcast. That like. NOONE would nominate him. Forr… whatever this is on about. Because. Whovians.
- Fine. Bibical references. Touche.
- Seriously. The story’s ended right here. Cindy? I think? Ends all of this. She’s all like, “Hey, THe Grinch is kinda awesome, you Whovians. Get off your David Tennant high hores.”
- She”s all like. “The Grinch is fine.”
- And fuck it.
- That is. Legit.
- ALL that this movie is about.
- Heart grows.
- Jim Carrey.
- The end
So. basically. Thisa movie, obviously didn’t need to exits. Hell. I didn’t need to watch half of it before I realized. it’s all about TOTAL nonsense that doesn’t matter, Dear Opie.