I Want to Play These Games

Making the jump to the nex-gen of video games was something I did vbery begrudgingly. Biut with something as massive as BatmanL Arkham Knight exsisting, I absolutely needed to make the jump. Right?

Since this nex-gen-y type of things b egan there were a few games that I knew I absolutely needed to play. Withcer 3 comes to mmind immediately. Ansd og course he aforementioned Arkham Knight, which is, apparently, going to receivew a Game of the Year re-release. But like… whasn’t it universally panned? I mean, I personally thingk it could be the best of the ASrkham games. But. Not according to critics.

BECXAUSE DISNEY PAID THEM OFF! OBVIOUSLY!

This is just a random list thrown to gether on the spot. And stuffs. A list of the fgames I’m most looking forward to being released. You know. These care the games I really, REALLY want to play. The games I’m most excite about. Games that I -MAY- even be the ultra-evil consumer and pre-order just to get that Day One DLC and whatnot. All of that nonsense.

I WANT TO PLAY THESE!

HONORABLE MENTION: Rocksteady’s “Superman” Game

So, merhaps something will become official in a coulpel of weeks at E3 and whatnot. But thus far. Nopes. This is just a rumor. And stuffs. But still. If the peoples that gave us the greatest Batman video gaming experience in the history of ever are behind a similar gavme for Superman. Then…

Well…

I’m sorry.

But awesoemeness will ensure.

And. Damn it. I have to come out of the closet one of these days.

Point is. If Rocksteady is making a Superman game, I’m looking forward to it. A lot. And I want toi play it. Right now. Day one DLC asshole and everything.

#5. WWE 2k17

There’s a couple of things here.

First and foremost. I’m not a fan of WWE becoming all EA/NFL MADDEN-Y. They really don’t NEED a yearly release. Forrealse people. They don’t. Give us an updated rosted as DLC once a year, suyre. But unless they add someting dynamic for each release. It’s pretty God damn unnecesary. And it pisses me off.

The Universe Mode hasn’t had any sort of major tweet added to it since its debute in the 2012 release of WWE 2k13.

The past two years saw major cutbacks of features. Even thought WWE 2k16 was vastly more improved than the previous year’s release.

And it’s all just a bunch of bullshit.

Second;y. I’d rank this game a bit higher if, at this point, if it were confirmed that Create a Story was reintroduced into the game. This has been a feature that is very, VERY missed. Fuck you Jae. Kinda.

Also, some MUCH NEEDED tweeks to Universe Mode would be very appreciated. As well as other tweetks. Such as create an entrance being limited to the movements of ONLY current roster members with nothing new. Plus, *ESPECIALLY* since custom soundtracks are no longer a thing (THANKS, NEXT-GEN~!) we NEED lots more original music.

Once I have those demands met.

I’ll be ABSOLUTELY stokes to purchase a WWE game aagain. I’ll even preorder it for the Goldberg nonsense. #Hatch. Or whatever.

#4. No Man’s Sky

Now, look. I don’t know much about this game.

Damn near nothing at all.

All I know is that you fly around in space.

And you explore planets in dfiferent solar systems and shit.

And. Well. Because. Obviouslyness is obviously (SEE: Number One on this list). That sounds like I pretty good time.

So. Sure. I’m looking foward to this game. And, given that it’s the game that’s going to be released the soonest, no, I haven’t pre-ordered it. I’m not going to receieve Day One DLC like an asshole. But still.

It intrigues that shit out of me. And. I want to play it. Right now. Shut up.

#3. Horizon Zero Dawn

Much like No Man’s Sky I, admittedly, don’t know much about this game.

But sicne I’ve been self-identifying as a Trans-Playstion-Fanbooy since the end of 2013, I’d have to include this, right?

But no, the game looks. Just. Very massive and instresting. IU want to shoot some arrows at some robot dinosaurs. Hate me. Slay me. Titan Fall doesn’t promise me this. So fuck off X-Boners.

You can never, ever call me a Misogynist, ScreenJunkeies. I love me some female video game protagonists. I often chose to be a femaile in RPG anways. So. Shut up. You assholes.

I’m such a progressive! BOOM@!

#2. South Park: The Fractured But Whole

Look man. Hate me. Slay  me. Whatever. But yes. Even after all of the lameness that has transpired with Matt Stone and Trey Parker in the last two years. How it has appeared as though they’ve gone soft and, perhaps, politically correct in their last two season s of South Park….

I absolutely LOVED The Stick of Truth. Sure. It was an INDREDIBLY short, linnear experience. But it was filled with WAY to o many laughs. Manby of whcih I TOTALLY forgot about after I had initially played the game nearly three years ago.

Yes. Thsi means I was a totall cunt and purchease d it at Game Stop once the price dropped significanyally. And damn it. I love it.

Even thought I HATE games that are short as fuck and barely worth a replay.

I LOVE.

South Park: The Stick of Truth.

So much so, that, more than likely, I’ll proe-order some Fractured But Whole just to get thaet Day One DLC. Like an asshole. And stuffs. Becauyse. Hate me. Slay me. I’m still a South Park Republican. Even though Matt and Trey have totally betraye what that means.

Kinda.

#1. Mass Effect Andromeda

I know. I didn’t do that googd of a job at clickbaiuting yo. I mean. I SAVED the image that made you click this link for last. It was the OBVIOUS most important choice! THAT’S BUSH LEAGE! Buzzfeed would NEVBER ALLOW THIS!

But.

Sure.

Casety Hudson may be LONG gone from BiuoWare at this point. Merhaps EA is to blame for this.

Sure. Everything that’s known about Mass Effect Andromeda is DAMN NEAR the FURTHEST game I was hoping for in a POST-Mass Effect 3 universe ofr… uh… Mass Effect. But damn it. Thae Mass Effect series is probabluy the best gaming experience I’ve ever played throught. Hell. I probably enjoyed the third installment (even with the DLC nonsense… all of the controversy… everything) the most.

Legit.

I’m biased.

I do’t care.

I need to play the next chapter. Right now.

You assholes.

EA. BioWare. Whoever.

Ya’ll pushed this game back a year.

And it pisseds me off.

I need to play it.

Or else.

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Ryan

I’m pretty awesome. I write drunken ramblings. Lover of gaming. Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling. And I am your resident Batman expert.

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